And I realised that I don't particularly like my body at the moment. I used to look in the mirror and by quite satisfied most of the time. I thought I was relatively attractive, in pretty good shape, fairly healthy - nothing much to complain about (except when those hormones kick in of course, they always screw your vision completely!).
But these days when I look in the mirror I tend to see mostly negatives. I'm starting to get wrinkly (mostly laugh lines, but still...), I'm carrying some rolls that are uncomfortable and make me feel unattractive, and I look kind of like a haggard stay-at-home mum most of the time. And most of my clothes are old and not especially flattering. I don't feel "marvellously womanly... healthy and active".
Of course, there's only one person to blame... my husband!!!! :-D Just kidding, of course! But he is a significant motivator for me. I like to look good for him, I tend to control my eating much better when he's around, I don't emotional-eat so much when we're together and I cook healthier, more nutritionally balanced meals for him than I do for just myself and the Little Big Fella. So nearly 6 months of living apart hasn't been so good for me.
But I've also been thinking about how the way we see our bodies (and how we treat them) has such a strong link with our levels of happiness.
When I'm happy I look in the mirror and feel okay, sometimes even great!
When I'm not happy, it's all bad!
When I'm happy, I feed my body what it needs and get it moving semi-regularly.
When I'm not, I eat more (and more junk), slob around on the couch and put on weight.
When I'm happy, I dress fairly well, do my makeup and hair, paint my nails, wear perfume and so on.
When I'm not, I chuck on whatever, chuck my hair in a ponytail, and that's pretty much it for the day.
So I wonder, if I start doing the things I would normally do when I'm happy, will that make me feel better? My guess is it would. But, do I have the motivation and energy to make myself do it? That is the question!