Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Ho hum?

I often find that when the Big Fella goes back to work, 7 hours away, that the first day or so I get really down.  The Little Big Fella tends to be an extra handful as well.  Add that to a bit of wet weather and you can say that the start of this week has been...

actually, just ho hum!

Which is kind of exciting in a weird kind of way.

I'm not really down.  Yay!

Ho hum is okay.  Ho hum is just... a bit bored, a bit uninspired, a bit less-than-excited.  Woo hoo!  I'm not depressed, or kicking myself about my terrible parenting skills (I know, they're not that bad!  But some days they feel seriously lacking), or berating myself for not being productive enough.

This is good!

I wonder if this little happiness project of mine is the cause of this less-than-down-ness?  If so, thanks everyone!  Thanks for reading and encouraging me to keep writing all this nonsense down :-D  If you didn't read it, I probably would have given up on it by now (even though I didn't start out with the expectation that anyone would read it).

And realising that I'm just ho hum, has actually made me feel happy!  This is awesome!

Who would have thought that writing down some stuff you're grateful for could be a renewal of life?  A bit of gratefulness here, a decision to try to be happy there, attempting to re-learn a language long forgotten (did I mention I've switched from Spanish to Japanese?), a bit of creativity thrown in, and I really feel like I have a new life!  Who I feel like today, compared to who I felt like a month ago... it's like I'm a completely different person internally. 

And I like it!  I like the new internal me an awful lot more than the old internal me.  And I'm guessing that perpetuates the good feelings.  Which encourages me to make more little changes.  Which makes me happier again because I don't feel so stuck.

Bring on the rest of 2012!  If it keeps improving at this rate... who knows what'll happen!!!

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