Friday, 8 February 2013

Times are a-changing

This week was the Little Big Fella's first "full" week (3 days) of kindy.

On Monday he cried when I left.  As in, bawled his poor little eyes out.  Gosh that's hard for a mother to take!  Even though you know he's going to be fine, and will probably stop crying as soon as you're out of sight, it tears at you.

Of course, by the time we picked him up that afternoon, the Little Big Fella was telling us how much he liked kindy and that he'd had a good day.

As we were getting ready on Tuesday morning, the Little Big Fella turns to me, with a quivering lip and says, "Mummy, I'm going to be shy at kindy today".

I turned to him and asked, "why?  You said you had a great time at kindy yesterday."

After a little discussion about the things he likes at kindy, and the kids he plays with, I suggested that he try not being shy at kindy and see how that goes.  He reluctantly agreed.

At kindy I signed him in and we put his things away.  One of his friends came over and obviously wanted to play with him, so I encouraged the Little Big Fella to play, said goodbye and walked out.  I didn't hear him cry, but thought there might have been a quivering lip.

On Wednesday morning at kindy I signed him in and we put his things away.  He dragged me over to the reading room, where another boy was doing a puzzle.  The Little Big Fella watched and then tried to help (I'm not real sure the other boy wanted help, but what's that got to do with anything???).  When the puzzle was done, my Little Big Fella turned around, gave me a kiss and a cuddle and said, "Mummy, it's time for you to go now".

Have you ever had conflicting emotions?  Right then, mine were an internal fist-pump, and my heart breaking (okay, I'm being a little melodramatic - but I did feel slightly rejected).

I think I might have found the right words to explain what's going on.  For almost four years, I have been everything to my Little Big Fella, and he has been almost everything to me (Big Fella not excluded, of course!).  Now, all of a sudden our lives are beginning to diverge.  Of course it's a necessary, healthy thing, but it's still a bit of a shock to the system!

On Tuesday, on a whim the Big Fella and I decided to go to our closest major town.  We got to spend almost six hours exclusively together!

There were no interruptions, there was no whining, there were no additional requests for the bathroom when we only went 5 minutes ago!

We even got to go to an Irish pub and have lunch together!  It was SO pleasant!  We even got to order food that the Little Big Fella probably wouldn't eat without complaining (and certainly not without making a huge mess!).  Bliss, I tell ya!

I attended a CWA (Country Women's Association) meeting this week as well.  The CWA is all about supporting people, especially women and children, in rural environments.  They do all kinds of things, depending on the area and the needs they become aware of.

After my stay in our old town in December, I realised that I need to be doing something that helps people in one way or another.  Because the playgroup will be using the CWA hall, a few of us decided we'd join the CWA and try to contribute through that avenue.

Speaking of the playgroup, I've been enlisted as Treasurer for this year.  And I'm looking forward to being a more formal part of that group.

I've also applied for work, and even if I don't get this particular job, I'll be looking more seriously for part-time employment.

Last year I feel like I was kind of treading water - waiting for the move, slowly getting to know people here, working out how things work around here, waiting for kindy to start.

This year I feel like changes are happening that mean I'm moving forward again.  And I think I'm ready for that :-)

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