Christmas joy

This evening has been one of those "essence of Christmas" times for me.

I've been watching the "Carols in the Domain" re-run (one of the two major Christmas carols productions here in Australia), and baking macadamia and white chocolate shortbread.  The Christmas lights are on, I finally finished my outdoor decorations and installed them this afternoon and they're looking good.

I'm thinking about my family and the things that have made Christmas for me in the past.

As a kid it was definitely presents.  Actually, as a late teenager/early adult, it was about presents too, but the fun, cheap, gag presents that we all bought each other for our Christmas stockings.  There were an awful lot of laughs involved in that!

Carols are definitely a major part of Christmas too.  I love singing them, listening to them, and watching them on Christmas Eve on TV.

Growing up, a big part was church as well.  Not as a tradition or religious element, although there was that as well, but more as a celebration and fun with my friends, who I definitely felt were like family.

I remember sneaking out of bed when I was a kid to sit by the Christmas tree and just look at the lights.  Then as I got older, I got that same sense of wonder and magic and "special-ness" from wandering around and looking at all the homes with outdoor Christmas lights.

This evening we also booked tickets to see "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug" on Boxing Day.  Seeing a new-release movie on Boxing Day became a bit of a tradition around the time the Big Fella and I got married.  It started with the first Lord of the Rings movie, actually!

I guess I've just been enjoying the quiet evening, the break from the rush and chaos that this season can bring.

And being thankful for my life and those around me, past and present.  I am so blessed in every way.

In these last few days before the BIG day, I wish you love, laughter, excellent friends and family, and a few moments to reflect and relax and simply enjoy the season.

In too deep?

One of the things that's kind of awesome about being an at-home mum is that you have a lot of time.

Sure!  It gets filled with the needs of a child, the messes of a child, the friends and activities of a child, but as the parent of only 1 child I recognise that I have a lot of control over what happens and when in our house.

You may have noticed in reading my blog over the nearly two years I've been writing, that I tend to have periods of intense activity, followed by periods of totally boring domesticity.

With the development of Pinterest and the on-coming Christmas season, now is not a period of totally boring domesticity!

I have a few things on my plate right now and I'm starting to wonder if I'm in a little deep.

I've been Treasurer of our playgroup this year, which is a really easy job.  But we're planning the end-of-year party and there's a few bits and pieces that need doing for that.

The Little Big Fella is starting Prep next year, so he's having Transition afternoons at school over these three weeks.  And after meeting his teacher last week, we've been convinced that the more he knows in terms of letters and numbers, and the more independent he is, the easier starting school will be for him.

So he and the Big Fella have decided that the Little Big Fella can learn to spell his name (and then all the other words Daddy wants to teach him - he already knows the names of the letters but can only write 3 of them), and tie his shoelaces.

Which, of course, means that I'll be involved in support and supplementary teaching ;-)

Christmas is coming and I've been busily making cards, tree decorations, indoor decorations, outdoor decorations, trashing my house in a creative frenzy...

I joined the CWA this year as well and recently found out that our local supermarket offers the facilities to run fundraising BBQs.  After seeing the effects of Typhoon Haiyan on TV, and my family having various connections with the Philippines, I suggested that we run a BBQ to raise funds to send for their recovery.  You guessed it!  I get to organise it.

Just to make it clear, I'm excited about it, and I'm hoping to get a decent turnout so we can make a reasonable donation, but it's another thing on my list.  And, of course, I decided to make it slightly more intense by adding a cake stall, so I have to do a little cooking for it (as well as all the awesome people who've offered to contribute as well.

Then there are the various parties, events and Christmas gatherings over the next five weeks.  And the housework and feeding and entertaining of my Fellas.

Then we need to add a final, and potentially apple-cart upsetting element.  Last week I received an e-mail containing a letter of offer!

Back in March I applied for a 4-day-a-week position as a teller at one of the banks.  I didn't receive it, but was contacted in May, I think, for an alternative position.  Over the past months I've been waiting and going through various processes and have been offered a position as a casual relief teller, both in our closest town, and our closest large town.

Funnily enough, I spoke to the branch manager the next day and she hadn't heard from the Human Resources Department yet.  But once all of those processes have been completed, I will be required for two weeks of full-time training.

Most likely before Christmas.

No doubt at some point in the very near future I will feel completely overwhelmed by all of this, but at this point, I'm actually feeling exhilarated!  I have lots to do and I'm interested in what I'm doing.

All these crafty activities are encouraging to me because I'm good at them and I'm very satisfied with the results.

The organising tasks are exhilarating because I'm pretty good at that too!  Hopefully I keep remembering to delegate - not only to keep from overwhelm, but also to allow others to participate and enjoy these activities, which are often the kinds of things that strengthen friendships.

Oh!  And I finally caught up with the ironing tonight and have relocated the ironing board to the cupboard for the first time all week!

Am I in too deep?  Probably!  But all this activity, right now, makes for a pretty happy stay-at-home mum.

Now to reclaim my dining table from my frenzied craft activities, finish the stockings for the fence, put up the Christmas lights, finish the Christmas cards, make that wreath out of roadside weeds... and make sure I clean my oven before my grandparents get here for Christmas :-D

An introvert's paradox

I am an introvert.

And I love hanging out with people.

I love playdates, and girl's nights out, and dinner parties, and BBQs, and events, and movies, and restaurants, and just being with people.

But when things get busy, or tough, or overwhelming, or confusing or whatever, I need time to myself to refresh and regroup.  To re-set myself to take on life and the world.

Which is kind of how I'm feeling at the moment.  Life has been busy these past few weeks.  Full of fun stuff like playdates with water-based jumping castles and slides!

We've been to parties for birthdays and footy finals.  We've spent plenty of awesome time hanging out with friends.  Being the school holidays, the Little Big Fella has been home so we've had a sleepover and friends over.

It's all been absolutely awesome and fun.

And because of all this awesome fun-ness, my normal routines haven't been working for me and my most productive time of day has been filled with other things.  Which leaves me feeling overwhelmed by the mess in my house (particularly the dust!) and the long list of things that need doing that I just don't seem to be getting to!

Which, of course, has me mildly stressing because I'm supposed to start working soon and I'm wondering how that's going to work out.

The Big Fella is about to go off on a Northern fishing adventure for a week.  I'll miss him heaps, but at the same time, I'm kind of looking forward to having the chance to catch up with myself.

It's kind of funny though.  Time by myself, refreshing and re-setting normally includes a whole new bunch of "to-do's".  But because they're often craft or organising, and I can set my own schedule and pace, it works for me.

I'm working on some Halloween paper mache pumpkins, and I have some sewing to do, and a costume to create, and some balloon sculpting to practice...

Hmmm, maybe I need a holiday! ;-D

What a sweetie!

Sometimes I feel completely ripped off.

I feel like I was duped into becoming a mother.  Because, somehow, all I ever heard were the good stories about people feeling completely fulfilled by being a mother, and about those moments when your heart completely melts when you look at your child.

Bleuch!

I'm really glad that some people get to have that kind of experience.

And I'm really glad that the first time I laid eyes on the Little Big Fella I completely fell in love.  Because if I hadn't, it's quite possible something drastic may have happened in those first two years.

But today was completely out of the ordinary.  While there have been moments (many, actually) where the Little Big Fella has melted my heart, this afternoon has been one moment after another, which is completely unknown so far in our life together!

The morning had been pretty horrible, after a series of nights of terrible sleep.  Both of us were tired and not responding well.

But when we got back from playgroup, after a little bit of rest, and after I'd adjusted his new Green Lantern costume (thanks Angie!) to fit him, he suddenly became this beautiful, sweet, helpful little boy!

He asked me if he could do anything for me.  (He's never done that before.)

When I couldn't think of anything, he offered to go and clean his room.  (He's never done that before.)  It wasn't even messy!

He wanted to help me make dinner.  (He hasn't done that in a while.)

He told me I looked beautiful and that my new clothes (which came in the mail this morning) looked gorgeous.  (He does that pretty often.)

He ate all of his dinner, including the broccoli, without being asked.  (He's never done that before.)

He happily stopped watching his cartoon to go and have a shower.

And even though at this stage I don't dare to hope that this will continue, except as irregular events perhaps, I am really enjoying this sweet little boy of mine.

I am Woman

I'm interrupting my Melbourne trip posts because of something that's been on my mind a fair bit lately.

There's been a lot of media coverage here in Australia lately about internet "trolls".  You know, the people who write absolutely horrible things on Twitter and Facebook and blogs that are the complete opposite of "building people up".  They get super personal, super rude, super critical, and downright bitchy!

I've mentioned before that I've joined the local CWA.  Last week I went to the combined AGM for the three closest towns, and the guest speaker talked about re-thinking how we can support the women in our area.  It got me thinking about what the CWA does, what the women around here do, what women and children here need, and how we might be able to meet those needs.

The other day I was speaking to one of the mums in town who is having a really hard time.  She's an awesome mum and an active member of our community, but she's feeling down and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.  From what I understand, a part of her suffering is negative comments from other women.

Women are an incredibly strong force!  Individually, we stand up under immense pressures and carry on because it is necessary.

But as a group, we can be even more powerful!

Sometimes we use that power to pull each other down.  This is particularly apparent in High School, where groups of girls can give each other such a hard time.  As indicated above, we're really good at trolling too.

But I'm starting to wonder what might happen if we used this power to help each other up more often.

What if we gave each other big bear hugs more often?  Not just a little greeting, but the kind that makes trouble seem so much smaller.

What if we told others what great mums they are?  How their kids are turning out great and it's obvious that they're loved?

What if we complimented regularly?  Genuine compliments - as simple as, "that's a great colour on you", to deeper ones like, "I really appreciate how you go out of your way to make everyone else's life smoother".

What if women supported one another in every way they could think of, rather than bitching behind their backs and turning the world against them?

What if gossip sessions turned into planning sessions for how to make someone else's day?

I know there are so many groups trying to add happiness to the world.  I guess I'm just wondering how I can be a part of that in my little corner of the world.  And because I'm surrounded by awesome women, how I can include and encourage them too.

And I guess I wonder if women, being such a powerful force, can actually change the world!

Generosity

I've known some very generous people in my life.  People who've been generous with money, yes.  But also people who have been generous with time, skills, love, affection, kind words, praise, encouragement, smiles and laughter.

I'm sure you've met them too.  They are the people who give and give and seem to get such pleasure out of the act of generosity.  They are the ones that, every time you see them, they greet you with a hug or a compliment (or both!).

And generosity seems to just be in their nature!  They seem to do it without thought or concern about how it might affect them.

I love to be around those kind of people!  They make me feel awesome, and they make me want to be better than I am.

I've done a little bragging about my Big Fella.  And I'll do it again (after all, I'm married to the man and I think he's awesome!).  He is very generous!

He's generous with his money.  Not only giving people money, but also in buying things for them (particularly at restaurants with good food and wine - he'll often try to pay the whole bill).

He's generous with his time and skills.  He'll happily give up a day to help a mate build a shed, or fix their car or do whatever handy work needs doing.

He's generous with his praise.  He tells people when he thinks they're great - without going over the top or "blowing smoke up their... ".

My parents hardly had any money when I was growing up but that didn't stop them being generous.  We almost always had people living with us, or staying for a few days or weeks.  And mum would somehow pull food out of the cupboards to feed all the people that would turn up and hang out for the afternoon/evening every Sunday.

I have a new friend on the Fit Yummy Mummy forums who is constantly encouraging others to keep at their weight loss goals, and pointing out where they're winning.

I have a friend who, despite her personal pain and problems, is constantly looking for ways to encourage and help others who have major life issues.

And here's the thing I've noticed: what goes around, comes around!  Call it what you like - karma, sowing and reaping, maybe even fate - but I see it when I look at the lives of these generous people.

They offer their time, goods, love, and encouragement.  And they get it back when they need it.

None of these people are generous because they want to get something from others.  From my observations, they give because they enjoy the ability to give.  Nevertheless, they receive back when they're in need.

And when these people are having a hard time, people seem to jump at the chance to help them!  I've watched the givers being completely overwhelmed by receiving.

And I've watched people who lack generosity.  They are stingy with their money, stingy with their time, stingy with their skills, stingy with encouragement.  In some cases they've even taken from those who have nothing left to give.

And I've seen some of these people fall on bad times.  Then the people around them point to karma or say they got what they deserved.  I've even seen people snicker behind their hands at the downfall of these ones.

It makes me want to give as much as I can, in as many different ways as I can, and find as much joy as I can in the giving.  Not to get anything in return, or even simply from the fear of being the butt of a bad joke, but because I love being around generous people and seeing how happy the act of generosity makes them.  I want me some more of that, please!

What luck!

Last week I watched a segment on 60 Minutes about a guy who found his family in India using Google Earth.  The basic gist was that he was born in a small town in India, got lost when he was 5, struggled, was adopted by an Australian couple, and when Google Earth came out, used it to find where he'd grown up, then went and found his mum.

The thing about the story that struck me was that it had been advertised as a "lucky chance" that he'd found his home town and mum.  "Just like that" was the phrase used.

But when I watched the story, it wasn't "just like that" at all!  He'd spent years (about five or seven years from memory) searching along all of the train lines that left from Calcutta (where he ended up).  He worked hard all day, spent time with his Australian family, then spent hours every night searching and searching.

That's not luck!  That's persistence!

I get to see that kind of "luck" in action regularly.

The Big Fella is definitely a "lucky" guy!  I mean, for starters he has me ;-)

But seriously folks.

Let's take a look at just his work life for example.  When we first met, the Big Fella was a mechanic for a small, family-owned garage.  He worked hard and tried to do the best job, and make the most money for his boss.  He was, essentially, the foreman in that workplace and ended up working with them for about 10 years.

Through various contacts, he had the opportunity to work for a high performance workshop.  They transformed cars from regular, run-of-the-mill cars, to high performance machines that probably shouldn't have been driven on normal roads!

While he was there he learned how to re-build an engine, mostly in his own time.  He worked long hours, studied manuals at home, talked to as many experts in the field as he could and made himself an invaluable employee for his boss.  He also talked the fabrication guys into teaching him how to weld well.

While he was there, he had the opportunity to participate in creating an awesome vehicle for the Army's promotion team.  They had to design and build it from scratch.  Again, there were looooooonnnnnnnggggg hours (several all-nighters from memory), and lots of learning from books and other experts.

When we decided to move north, the Big Fella ended up working in a regular workshop again, making pretty average money, but giving his best to make as much money as he could for his employer.

He ended up working pro bono for a transmission specialist in his lunch hours and after work, learning how to rebuild and repair transmissions.  He spent long hours learning from that man, and reading everything he could get his hands on so that he understood everything he could about those machines.  Eventually he was offered a position in that workshop.

Later the Big Fella worked for himself, using the skills he had learned to build a great little business.  He worked long hours and did everything he could to satisfy his customers.

One of those customers told him about the train driving job.  And now we're here.  He's making good money.  We get to do some fun stuff because we live in the country.  Yeah, he's "lucky".

Some people will always look at "lucky" people and bemoan that their own life is no good.  They don't see the hours of effort that have gone into making that "luck".  They don't see the sacrifices along the way.  They don't see the discussions and painful backwards steps and the wondering if it's all worth it.

They don't see that "luck" is often made, not granted.

I wonder what kind of "luck" you're making today?  What will the efforts that I put in today, effect in my future?  What will the lessons I'm learning right now translate to?  What kind of "luck" do I want in my life?  And what am I willing to do today to make it happen?

I am not a mind-reader

The other day I had a little rant about some of the ridiculous expectations we have of each other in relationships.

I feel the need to continue along that theme today.

Girls, guys are not girls and they definitely can't read your mind.  Most of the time they can't even read your moods.  So stop expecting them to!

If you want them to bring you flowers, ask them to.  Or even better, put it in their diary or phone.  That way they'll be more likely to actually do it.

If you don't like flowers because you hate watching them die in the vase and drop bits all over the table, let them know.

If you'd prefer a box of fancy chocolates, tell him!

If you're allergic to something, you absolutely need to make that clear :-D

Do you have an ideal in your mind of how a particular day needs to be?  Maybe on your birthday you want him to wake you up with a "Happy Birthday" and a cuppa.  Or maybe you just want to go out for dinner so that you don't have to cook and clean up.  Or maybe you want the whole shebang and more! If you don't let that poor fella know, you are going to be disappointed, possibly have a horrible day, and it's not going to be his fault.

Women (please note that this is a generalisation and therefore does not apply to everyone) seem to have developed a level of expectation that seems completely unrealistic.  Without giving their man any form of direction or instruction (and no, hints don't count - guys can't read hints either), girls start punishing him for not doing this or that.

Why would you set each other up for failure???

Don't you love him?  Do you want to have a harmonious relationship?  Then talk to him.  In clear, specific man-language.

If you want a dozen red roses on Valentine's Day, don't tell him you'd like some flowers then lose the plot at him for giving you a bunch of daffodils in March!  Men are not stupid, but they are not women and they are not mind-readers.

Guys, let me give you a couple of tips too.

You're a smart fella and you've worked out what the signs are for your partner's time of the month.  Be even smarter!  If she's upset, don't tell her why!  She knows.  But you telling her is likely to turn her into a snarling, clawed beast (in which case, you'd better run!!!).

And even though you want to fix things for her (because that's what guys do, right?), unless she's asking you for suggestions, she doesn't actually want you to tell her what needs to be done.  Unless she asks you, she probably already knows and just needs to vent.  It's part of the process for most women.  I know, guys don't do that!  But girls do, and if they need to do it and you're the person they choose to vent at, it's actually a privilege.  So just listen, nod and try to pay attention because there'll probably be information in that vent that is useful to you in future situations (eg. what bugs her, what might make her feel better... the inner workings of your woman's brain).

If she's crying, she most likely needs a hug.  And not a short, half-second pat-on-the-back.  A full arms and body hug for as long as it takes to stop crying, and then a little bit more.  You don't even need to say anything.  Just be with her while the storm passes.

I guess what I really want to say is that communicating clearly with one another in a relationship is so important.  But you need to understand how the other person works as well.  Because if you're effectively speaking Martian, and they only understand Saturnian, it's obviously not going to work. 

So find out how your partner understands the world.  Find out what makes them feel loved.  Discover as much as you can about how their brain works - what fires them up, what pisses them off, what calms them down, what relaxes them.  And keep discovering!  Because people change over time (just to make things slightly confusing!), but you, your partner and your relationship are worth the effort!

The Balancing Act Called Motherhood

As well as re-creating our whole house (well, that's almost how it feels), I've been pondering the dilemma of modern motherhood lately.  Or perhaps I should say modern parenting because Dads get their fair share of this one too.

You know what I'm talking about; the balancing act between work and home, hands-on and hands-off, nurturing and discipline, child's needs and parent's needs... and on and on it goes.

When we moved here I expected to be able to find a great Family Day Carer (although, I didn't expect anyone to live up to SuperCarer's standards really), then get a job and complain about how hard it is to balance work and motherhood.

But it hasn't quite worked out that way.

So for me, right now, the balancing act is particularly between my needs and the Little Big Fella's needs.  And I don't think the balance is great just now.

I'm an introvert.  That doesn't necessarily mean I'm shy - it means that when I'm exhausted or overwhelmed or basically need to recharge, I need to be alone.  And at the moment, that's just not happening.

Instead, I'm getting constant touch (mostly licks actually - from the Little Big Fella ??? and the dogs), constant interruption (normally with requests for food or to call a friend to play with), and no chance to recharge.

And it's making me an absolute cranky pants!!!

Obviously, for all our sakes, I need some time out.  Because our balance is out!

So what do I do?

Well, for starters, tonight the Big Fella and I made sure the dishes were done as soon as dinner was finished.  That takes the evening load off, just that little bit.

Also, luckily, the Little Big Fella was pretty tired tonight and crashed in bed as soon as he'd had his shower.

Then the Big Fella and I watched a TV show together before he went off to work.  I painted my nails at the same time (it's weird that a bit of care and attention to your nails can re-set your head).

And now I'm taking some time to read a bit of parenting stuff online (like this one about guilt, and this one about the core of parenting) and blog about my failures :-)

The house is quiet and nothing is demanding my attention.  It's not late so I don't feel guilty or concerned about how tired I'll be tomorrow.

I feel relaxed and re-set and ready to take on the challenge again tomorrow.

And you know there'll be a new balancing act to conquer tomorrow, because that's what happens in this life they call "parenting" - there's always a challenge!

Turning 4

A couple of days ago my Little Big Fella turned 4.

It's official.

He's now a "big boy" (according to him at the very least).

And because I'm blogging, I get to be the soppy mum for a minute and say I'm so proud of who he's turning out to be.

He's smart and funny and entertaining and fun to be around.  He can be generous and exceptionally loving.  He loves playing with his friends, but is also happy to play alone (lucky really, given that he's an only child!).

He's just as anal as me about things being done "right".  He's very good at demanding to be heard (especially if I'm on the phone or talking to someone else) and he generally knows what he wants.

I'm enjoying watching him change and grow and discover, and I wonder what kind of a "big boy" he'll be, and what kind of man.

Anyway, enough of the self-gratifying reflections, let's get on to the good stuff!

The night before his birthday, the Big Fella and I blew up a few balloons and hung them in the living area, and I put the present from us and from one set of grandparents on the table.

When he woke up and came to the living area he was stoked by the balloons! Amazing how something so small can be so exciting when you're that young :-)

Then, of course, he saw the presents and was into it!!!  We started with the one from the Big Fella's parents.

Now, the Little Big Fella hasn't made paper planes before, so didn't really understand what his new (BIG) book was about.  The Big Fella just happened to have picked up a foam plane the day before but hadn't put it together or shown the Little Big Fella.  So to give him an idea of what you can do with paper planes, he made up the foam one.

 
Obviously the Little Big Fella had to have a go too :-D  And he LOVED it!  No doubt that book will be regularly referenced in the future!

Well, as much fun as planes are, there was another present to open so we dragged the Little Big Fella back to the table to see what was there.

Insert side story here:
The Little Big Fella has been thoroughly enjoying the few dress-ups that he has over the past few months, so I'd considered buying him another one for his birthday.  But I hadn't gotten around to it.

So last week I was looking at super hero costumes online.  You know, Iron Man, the Green Lantern, Spiderman...  I couldn't decide which one I thought my son would like best, so I decided to get him involved.

I sat him on my lap and we looked through a few pages of boys costumes.  He was quite taken with the Green Lantern... until he saw...

 

Yep, it is!  Darth Vader!  Not a Jedi costume, but Darth Vader.  This is what he chose out of all the superheroes we looked at!!!

Of course, he had to try it on and show himself in the mirror straight away :-D

 

That costume stayed on him almost literally all day!  And most of the next day too!

He wore it when we went to playgroup (and unfortunately accidentally hit one of the kids with his light saber).

He wore it when we got home and for the afternoon.

And he wore it when we went to the park for an Easter event held by our local Lions club.

Suffice to say, he's happy with his birthday present :-)

When we got home from playgroup, the Big Fella had been to the post office and discovered another present for the birthday boy.  This one was from my parents.

It was an Iron Man 3 figure with car and guns and it got an absolute workout! It almost got taken to the park in the afternoon, but thankfully I was able to talk the Little Big Fella out of that one.

The Easter event at the park that afternoon was great fun too.  Funnily enough, the Little Big Fella thought it was his party in the park!  He got to play with his best friend, and plenty of his other friends.  They had sno cones (crushed ice with incredibly sweet coloured syrup) and fairy floss and a little jumping castle!!!  And the Little Big Fella won a prize for the Easter hat he'd made in playgroup that morning!

Talk about a massive day!

Originally I'd planned to have a couple of the Little Big Fella's friends over for a small party, then have a cake at the park for everyone.  But because of playgroup and then the Lions event, I'd decided not to.

But the Little Big Fella kept talking about having his friends at his house for a birthday party, so I decided to go ahead and have one.

Unlike previous parties, I didn't want to spend weeks (months) preparing for it and wanted to make it pretty simple.  So I made a superhero cape for each of the boys, got some cardboard masks, a Spiderman pez dispenser and a bag of teddy biscuits and made that the party bag, intending to give it to each of the boys as they arrived.

As well as the balloons we'd put up the day before, I stuck some streamers around the place and that was it for decoration.

For food I just did a plate of fruit, a bowl of chips (crisps), and some party pies and sausage rolls with sauce.

Well, unfortunately the party with a few friends didn't quite turn out as expected.

The Little Big Fella's best friend went camping first thing on the day of the party.

Another friend woke up with a tummy bug that morning so couldn't come.

The third friend's mum had booked an appointment with the hairdresser so couldn't get to the party.

So only one friend (and his sister) ended up coming.  And they had a great time and the Little Big Fella thought it was awesome!  He even took off his Darth Vader costume and let his friend try it on!!!

It was definitely the most laid back party I've done so far, but apparently it was still a success!  Hip, hip... hooray!!!!!

Visits and shopping

As promised, here is another "catch-up" post from all that we've been up to this month.

The week after my brother was here, the Fellas and I drove back to our old town to visit family, for the Big Fella to get a root canal, and to collect the last of our belongings that had been stored in my Poppy's shed.

My grandparents moved interstate when I was four or five years old.  As we were growing up, I only got to see them about once a year, and I felt that I'd missed out on something really special because of it.

Then, when the Big Fella and I first moved to Queensland, we ended up living with my grandparents for two or three months.  It was hard for everyone initially, but we got to know each other well and became great friends.  It is an absolute pleasure to me to now watch my son having the opportunity to know and love his great-grandparents!

Anyway, when we first arrived at my grandparents' place, I had quite a shock.  Poppy has just recently had a knee reconstruction and managed to get blood poisoning in the hospital.  They didn't pick it up and sent him home.  Thankfully he had a checkup with his surgeon a couple of days later, and was readmitted immediately.  By the time we got there, Poppy had been back home for a few days and was on the mend.

But walking in and seeing him was a shock!  His skin was grey and he looked 10 years older than when I'd seen him in December.  Talk about confronting!!!

Thankfully within a few hours he was looking more like himself.  I think that the Big Fella had a lot to do with that - they're great friends, which is kind of amazing given that they didn't like each other when they met!

Over the next three days, I noticed that Poppy's knee was less swollen and he was able to do more.  So he's definitely mending, which is such a relief.

Okay, lets move on to other things.

The Little Big Fella had such a good time playing with his cousins!  He misses them so much, and that really is the thing I feel worst about with our move here.  I've no doubt they'll be great friends, but I guess when we lived closer they were almost like siblings.

I've been reflecting a little over the past few months that it would have been wonderful for the Little Big Fella to have a sibling.  Unfortunately I wasn't mentally capable and now that he's just about to start school I'm not willing to go back to the baby and nappies stage.

Oh my goodness, this post is getting rather dreary, isn't it???

Let me tell you about the very fun part of our visit!  We went shopping!

Now, when I say "we went shopping" I don't mean a little bit here and there.  I mean we. went. shopping!!!!

We finally found office furniture that we like (I've been looking for months!!!), and a dining setting/buffet/entertainment unit that we both like.  I ordered the office furniture as soon as we got home and it arrived the other day.  I'll show it to you when I've got it all together :-)  The other stuff will be ordered in a few weeks I think.

We went to the sports store and ended up with two pairs of shoes each, a footy for the Little Big Fella, some extra dumbells and weight plates... I think there was something else too.

The Big Fella went to our old butcher and ended up buying, literally, a deep freezer full of meat!  Here comes the jerky :-D

I bought some black beans, which are a little difficult to get here and are expensive to buy online.

Okay, I bought a lot of black beans.

I'd never used them until recently, but I have a recipe from the Dessert Angel for "Belly Fat Burning Brownies".  They have no flour and no sugar but are high in fibre and protein, and they taste FANTASTIC!!!  Even the Fellas love them!  And everywhere I've taken them people have loved them too, and asked for the recipe.

So, I bought a massive bag of black beans :-)

The Little Big Fella and I went to Bunnings.  I love that store!!!  Apparently there's a little one opening in our closest large town sometime this year.  Guess that'll make it heaven :-D

From Bunnings I bought new fittings for the bathroom.  I know, we're in a company house!  But I wanted fittings that suited our lifestyle and matched the rest of the room so I bought some.

I also got some paint.  Our playgroup was getting rid of a few bits and pieces when we moved to the CWA hall at the start of the year, and I decided to keep a stand/rack for hanging up costumes and hats.  It needs a bit of cleaning up, so I decided to buy some bright, dark blue paint, which will go really nicely with the Little Big Fella's new bed, and the freshly painted walls. Don't worry, I'll show you pics when it's done :-)

So, obviously, as well as all this shopping we spent time with my family and everyone had a great time.  I absolutely love that spending time with my family is fun, not a stress.  I feel particularly lucky!

Okay, that's the end of this update!  But don't worry, there'll be more!!!  :-D

Oh my goodness!!!  I totally forgot to put in the photos from our visit!!!  I ended up taking my camera, specifically with the CWA photo competition in mind - not because I think I'll win anything, but because it's another way to support what's happening in our local community.  I took a bunch of pics of the Little Big Fella playing in the playground, and had a go at some more abstract-style photos.

Anyway, here you go!

This is my youngest nephew when we were op-shopping.  He really didn't want to get out of there when it was time to go, either!

Oh!  This is at home.  My brother gave the Little Big Fella his birthday present and he's played with it for hours!

 

There you go!  Hope you enjoyed it :-D

Times are a-changing

This week was the Little Big Fella's first "full" week (3 days) of kindy.

On Monday he cried when I left.  As in, bawled his poor little eyes out.  Gosh that's hard for a mother to take!  Even though you know he's going to be fine, and will probably stop crying as soon as you're out of sight, it tears at you.

Of course, by the time we picked him up that afternoon, the Little Big Fella was telling us how much he liked kindy and that he'd had a good day.

As we were getting ready on Tuesday morning, the Little Big Fella turns to me, with a quivering lip and says, "Mummy, I'm going to be shy at kindy today".

I turned to him and asked, "why?  You said you had a great time at kindy yesterday."

After a little discussion about the things he likes at kindy, and the kids he plays with, I suggested that he try not being shy at kindy and see how that goes.  He reluctantly agreed.

At kindy I signed him in and we put his things away.  One of his friends came over and obviously wanted to play with him, so I encouraged the Little Big Fella to play, said goodbye and walked out.  I didn't hear him cry, but thought there might have been a quivering lip.

On Wednesday morning at kindy I signed him in and we put his things away.  He dragged me over to the reading room, where another boy was doing a puzzle.  The Little Big Fella watched and then tried to help (I'm not real sure the other boy wanted help, but what's that got to do with anything???).  When the puzzle was done, my Little Big Fella turned around, gave me a kiss and a cuddle and said, "Mummy, it's time for you to go now".

Have you ever had conflicting emotions?  Right then, mine were an internal fist-pump, and my heart breaking (okay, I'm being a little melodramatic - but I did feel slightly rejected).

I think I might have found the right words to explain what's going on.  For almost four years, I have been everything to my Little Big Fella, and he has been almost everything to me (Big Fella not excluded, of course!).  Now, all of a sudden our lives are beginning to diverge.  Of course it's a necessary, healthy thing, but it's still a bit of a shock to the system!

On Tuesday, on a whim the Big Fella and I decided to go to our closest major town.  We got to spend almost six hours exclusively together!

There were no interruptions, there was no whining, there were no additional requests for the bathroom when we only went 5 minutes ago!

We even got to go to an Irish pub and have lunch together!  It was SO pleasant!  We even got to order food that the Little Big Fella probably wouldn't eat without complaining (and certainly not without making a huge mess!).  Bliss, I tell ya!

I attended a CWA (Country Women's Association) meeting this week as well.  The CWA is all about supporting people, especially women and children, in rural environments.  They do all kinds of things, depending on the area and the needs they become aware of.

After my stay in our old town in December, I realised that I need to be doing something that helps people in one way or another.  Because the playgroup will be using the CWA hall, a few of us decided we'd join the CWA and try to contribute through that avenue.

Speaking of the playgroup, I've been enlisted as Treasurer for this year.  And I'm looking forward to being a more formal part of that group.

I've also applied for work, and even if I don't get this particular job, I'll be looking more seriously for part-time employment.

Last year I feel like I was kind of treading water - waiting for the move, slowly getting to know people here, working out how things work around here, waiting for kindy to start.

This year I feel like changes are happening that mean I'm moving forward again.  And I think I'm ready for that :-)

A wonderful day

It's funny.  When I think about the day we've just had, it doesn't seem all that fantastic.  And perhaps, if we did the same activities on another day, it would seem like just a good, or regular day.

But looking back on today, I feel wonderful.  I feel happy.  I feel closer to my Fellas.

We got up early and travelled to our nearest large town.  We did a little shopping and then the Fellas took off to the outdoors and gun shop, while I went and spent some of a Christmas voucher the Big Fella gave me.

After lunch at KFC, we headed off to the dam nearby and spent a couple of hours splashing in the water, exploring and skipping stones.  And laughing.  There was a lot of laughing!

And I guess that's why it was such a wonderful day.  We spent time together, playing and laughing.  I think that days like today, particularly moments like those, are the times all these inspirational posters that say, "live, laugh, love" are about.

We got to live together, making the most of the moment, laughing and learning to love one another more.  If only we could all have more of these kinds of days - acknowledging the beauty in life and one another!

First day of kindy

Wow!  It's finally here!!!  My Little Big Fella started kindergarten this morning (the year before starting school) and he woke up SO excited!!!  We've been counting down to this day for about a month, and talking up how much fun he'll have and all of that.

Last week we had a "meet and greet" at the kindy to meet his teachers and classmates.  It was a fun hour and he was so enthusiastic afterwards!  (He decided to wear his Superman suit - he's on a major superhero thing at the moment)

Over the past couple of days I've labelled all of his kindy clothes, lunch box, "school" bag and so on.  And last night I made his lunch and packed it into his new lunchbox (that was a jigsaw puzzle if ever I've tried one!).

This morning I got up a little earlier than normal.  I wanted to make sure everything was ready and that it wasn't a stressful morning.

At 6:07 I heard someone moving about.  Then there was the telltale thumping run down the hallway and my Little Big Fella was in the kitchen asking if today was kindy day.  He was so excited he wanted to put on his backpack and go right then and there :-D

So we eventually got him in his new kindy clothes and took some photos for you all :-D

And then, all of a sudden, it was time to go!

Because of the weather around here lately, the Big Fella was home from work today (you know, it's kind of hard to drive a train when the track has been washed away!) so we all got to go together.

It was slightly organised chaos at the kindy, with kids and parents everywhere, trying to work out what they were supposed to be doing and signing kids in, and finding the lunch fridge and saying goodbyes.  The Little Big Fella headed straight for the sandpit and was quite happy, thank you very much!

But then all the kids had to go inside and sit down on the mat.  I took him inside and sat him down but he suddenly went all "shy".  I can understand though - he's never had to sit down on a mat before in his life, he didn't know anyone there, and Mummy was about to leave.  I quickly took him outside to give Daddy a hug and kiss goodbye, gave him a hug and kiss, popped him back on the mat and told him I'd stand at the door for a minute and then we'd go.

This was obviously my mistake.

He was fine until, after about a minute, I smiled, waved and blew him a kiss. Suddenly the lower lip trembled and his hands went over his eyes and he was crying.  He ran out and hugged me and I tried to tell him it would be okay.

Thankfully at that point one of the teachers came over and asked him if he'd like to help her get the paints ready for everyone.  And that was it!  He was off and so were we!

I've been waiting for kindy to start for months.  I love my son very much, but I've been hanging out for some time alone.

So imagine my surprise when I got about half way through the day and realised that I'd been feeling grief!  I nearly fell over the mop I'd been using to keep myself occupied!!!

Today is the first in a long series of letting go moments, and the realisation that one day my Little Big Fella won't need me was a tad overwhelming.  I guess especially so because I wasn't expecting to have any maudlin-style thoughts either.

Anyway, the day was filled with attempting to food shop in a half-empty store (more on that in another post), house cleaning, lunch and rejoicing in the return of the internet to our house.

Then, all of a sudden, it was time to go and pick the Little Big Fella up again!

When we got there he ran up and told me he'd had a good day, and I got to collect his first (of many, I'm guessing) kindy painting.  He even asked when he gets to go back to kindy, so it was obviously a good day.

It was quite hot today so we decided to go for a swim at the pool before coming home.  We had such a fun time playing together in the water and it was SO nice to be cool after such a hot day!

There was lots of laughter too, because the Little Big Fella was racing the Big Fella from me to the steps of the pool.  Regardless of what happened, the Little Big Fella declared, "I win!".  He even directed the Big Fella to swim toward me from the steps, before launching off me to the steps and claiming to win the race!

We ended up having an early dinner because we were all quite hungry.  The Little Big Fella had a shower and was in bed before it was even dark.  But he wasn't really tired yet.

Just then we got a phone call from one of his friends' mums, asking if we'd like to go to the park and have a play.

So we did!

We ended up having a play for almost two hours.  The sun was down and the lights were on and the boys still wanted to keep playing!  They're really good mates, and seem to have a similar approach to playtime :-)

When we got back home, the Big Fella informed us that his parents had been on Skype and desperately wanted to talk to the Little Big Fella about his first day of kindy.  So we quickly contacted them and had a chat before packing him off to bed.

I read him a couple of books and as he was laying down to sleep he told me a bit more about his day.  Apparently he'd read a book about dinosaurs and had been "teached" during rest time because he didn't have a sleep.

I feel so satisfied tonight.  My little boy is growing into an interesting, fun person and I'm awfully proud of him.