Blogger's block

I feel like I need to apologise, but I've no doubt you'll all forgive me anyway.  I have a bunch of excuses (starting work, trying to keep my house somewhat clean and orderly, computer dying and it's trickier on the laptop or tablet, Christmas, New Year....) but really, they're just excuses.

Reality is that I have "blogger's block".

I don't feel like I have anything to say that anyone would want to read, and when I do, I don't have the time or energy to put it together (hopefully coherently).

So, let's see if we can break the block by writing this little apology.  Actually, it's not really an apology, given that it's my blog and I can write whenever I want.  But I guess it is an apology in the sense that I know that when I read a blog regularly, I miss it when they take a break, so I apologise if you've missed me.

Okay, let's see if we can break the block by giving a quick recap of what's been happening around here then.

I finally started work at one of the big Australian banks and finally, after two full weeks, managed to balance at the end of the day without having to re-count and re-check all of my work.  I literally did a dance!

Working full-time for two weeks was great and really hard.  It was awesome to be working again - spending so much time around adults, learning, and using my head all the time.  And it was hard not being around my Little Big Fella, trying to keep my house up to scratch, trying to fulfill the commitments I'd made as a non-worker, sitting almost all day, trying to get plenty of sleep and keep up with my workout program.

There were Christmas parties and birthday parties, often on the same day!

And, of course, there was Christmas!

My grandparents were going to join us this year but unfortunately that didn't work out.  But we had a great day!  The Little Big Fella got way too many presents, again!  And we had a fun time playing with all of them :-D

The Big Fella had a sleep in the afternoon (he'd done a string of night shifts with very little sleep in between) and I got a little down, I think because I'm used to Christmas day being full of people.

In the evening we visited some friends.  They'd gotten together with others in their street to hire a blow up waterslide and the Little Big Fella had a good go on it.  There were a few drinks and lots of laughs.  It was a great, relaxing way to end the day.

Boxing Day saw us follow a tradition that began early in our marriage, with Lord of the Rings, actually.  The Big Fella, the Little Big Fella and I went and saw the Hobbit at the cinema, 2 hours away.  It was expensive, and mildly frustrating a couple of times, but I think it's definitely a tradition we'll continue whenever possible.

The days between then and now have been very quiet and homely.  We've caught up with a couple of friends who've remained in town, been to the local pool, avoided the few shops that are near (and all of the ones further away!), practiced on my scooter and the Little Big Fella on his little motorbike, put up our pool and hidden away in the airconditioning from the high 30s to 45 degree days, and slept our way into the New Year.

Do you remember last New Year where I mentioned that I don't like it?  Here's the link if you want to look it up.  I actually happened to wake up 15 minutes before midnight this year and during that time I remembered some of the really bad New Year's Eve "parties" I've been to.

One included being at church (not the bad part - I loved going to church and spending time with the people around me who I considered my family), where the guest speaker actually continued speaking through the countdown to the New Year!

Then there were others (probably most of them really) where, possibly because there was no alcohol involved, we were trying to stay awake until midnight so we could count down, yell "Happy New Year" and go home to bed.

But this year I've added another reason to not like New Year.  And I suspect there will be plenty of people who disagree with me, which is absolutely your prerogative.

Many people seem to think that just because we've changed the number that we write to designate the year, their life will change... without them doing anything differently.  Then they whinge their way through the year, get to the other end and complain about what a horrible year it was and how they can't wait for the new year to begin.

Ummmm, sorry folks, that's not the way it works!

If you want your life to change in any way, big or small, you have to make a change!  Whether it's a new year or not!  And change is hard!  Which is why you haven't done it yet.  And, not only change for a minute or a day, but consistently!  And that sometimes feels impossible!!!

Anyway, I guess I'm off on a tangent, but I guess that means I'm cured of "blogger's block"!

I had a quick look back through my 2013 posts, just to see what I've recorded about our year for you.

• We've had chickens,
• been flooded in,
• the Little Big Fella started kindy and turned 4,
• our house has been painted and we have new furniture,
• we've played with friends,
• the Little Big Fella has spent a lot of time in superhero costumes,
• I joined the CWA and was Treasurer for our playgroup,
• the Easter Bunny and Santa visited, as did my brother, and the Big Fella's parents,
• we visited our old town a few times,
• I rolled our car and we got a brand new one,
• the Little Big Fella and I flew to Melbourne,
• I went to my first "real" concert and P!nk was AWESOME!
• I got a 2nd and 3rd in the state CWA photo competition,
• we went to the local race day,
• I've (possibly excessively) considered various aspects of parenting,
• I cut my hair short (again),
• the Big Fella and I exchanged rings in a private (and moving) ceremony... in our car,
• I've gotten back into papercrafts with some of my friends,
• the Little Big Fella played his first sport (soccer),
• we went to the May Day Fair, and the school fair,
• we've been fishing and swimming and backyard camping,
• we've attempted a sleepover with the Little Big Fella's best friend,
• the Little Big Fella finally worked out how to ride his motorbike by himself,
• I've raised the concept of letting men be manly,
• the Little Big Fella gave some of his face-skin to the concrete, and shared his hand with a knife (thankfully not needing stitches),
• I had some bad days and some bad weeks,
• the Little Big Fella had his first visit to the dentist,
• we had backyard fires and front yard fires, and fires at friends' houses,
• the Little Big Fella played with (manufactured) snow for the first time ever,
• we got airconditioning in our living area!
• the Big Fella turned 40,
• we got a shipping container/workshop,
• the Little Big Fella learned how to teatowel fight,
• we did Halloween again, and ate too many sweets,
• I had a girl's night in,
• I re-learned how to tie balloons and got to do it at two different events,
• the Big Fella and I lost weight, and the Big Fella's kidney health has moved back to the "normal" range,
• we've been to local footy games,
• I ran my first ever fundraiser, and it was a success!
• I've found a million reasons throughout the year to be thankful for my friends and family,
• I totally got into the Christmas spirit in the lead up to Christmas,
• we've had LOTS of fun times with friends at the park, at playgroup, at their houses, at our house,
• we've laughed, a lot,
• the Little Big Fella had his Prep Transition days, and loved them,
• we've spent plenty of time splashing around in water,
• the Little Big Fella and I have done a fair bit of cooking,
• and I've returned to being ScooterShell.

No wonder I've felt so tired these last few weeks!!!!  That was a really big year, with lots of fun times.

Now take a deep breath because 2014 is going to have lots of big moments in it too!  The Little Big Fella is starting real school, we're going to Melbourne in March (as a family), in May (possibly just me) and September (just the Big Fella), I'll be getting my full motorbike license, there'll be birthdays and parties and playtimes and homework and events and competitions and Halloween and Christmas and work and love.  Put that together with whatever "deep" thoughts I dump on y'all, as well as all the random things that you never expect or plan for...

Can I go to sleep now?

Christmas joy

This evening has been one of those "essence of Christmas" times for me.

I've been watching the "Carols in the Domain" re-run (one of the two major Christmas carols productions here in Australia), and baking macadamia and white chocolate shortbread.  The Christmas lights are on, I finally finished my outdoor decorations and installed them this afternoon and they're looking good.

I'm thinking about my family and the things that have made Christmas for me in the past.

As a kid it was definitely presents.  Actually, as a late teenager/early adult, it was about presents too, but the fun, cheap, gag presents that we all bought each other for our Christmas stockings.  There were an awful lot of laughs involved in that!

Carols are definitely a major part of Christmas too.  I love singing them, listening to them, and watching them on Christmas Eve on TV.

Growing up, a big part was church as well.  Not as a tradition or religious element, although there was that as well, but more as a celebration and fun with my friends, who I definitely felt were like family.

I remember sneaking out of bed when I was a kid to sit by the Christmas tree and just look at the lights.  Then as I got older, I got that same sense of wonder and magic and "special-ness" from wandering around and looking at all the homes with outdoor Christmas lights.

This evening we also booked tickets to see "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug" on Boxing Day.  Seeing a new-release movie on Boxing Day became a bit of a tradition around the time the Big Fella and I got married.  It started with the first Lord of the Rings movie, actually!

I guess I've just been enjoying the quiet evening, the break from the rush and chaos that this season can bring.

And being thankful for my life and those around me, past and present.  I am so blessed in every way.

In these last few days before the BIG day, I wish you love, laughter, excellent friends and family, and a few moments to reflect and relax and simply enjoy the season.

Can somebody say, "excited"???

I was feeling the trepidation.

It was kindy pick-up time for the Little Big Fella.  I'd had a really full day and was mildy stressed about not getting other stuff done.

But that wasn't what caused my fear.

You see, the Little Big Fella doesn't like snakes.

At.  All.

He doesn't like bugs or even the rubber snakes that boys stereotypically throw at girls to make them scream.

Guess what came to kindy today.

Yup!  A reptile show.

So, I was feeling nervous.

While getting my hair cut and coloured I was imagining a stressed-out phone call from the kindy teacher telling me I had to come and pick up the Little Big Fella, with blood-curdling screams in the background.

Thankfully the Big Fella was with me for pick-up.  I had moral support!

We made our way from the car, through the child-proof gates, and along the side of the kindy building.

I couldn't hear anything!  No singing, no playing, no stories.

Sh!t!  The guy had an anaconda and ate everyone!!!

But, no!  We got around to the closed doors and the other parents were waiting patiently.  All must have been well.

The teacher opened the doors and the Big Fella walked over to get the Little Big Fella.  Out he came and ran into Daddy's arms.

Okay.  He's alive!  This is good!

The Big Fella motioned that I was there as well and the Little Big Fella pelted over to me and gave me a BIG hug.

And then it started.

The non-stop, high-pitched, high-decibel, excited talk about dragons that don't fly and 7 meter snakes and baby crocodiles and turtles with long tongues and... and... and...

It went on until we got to McDonald's (Daddy needed coffee).

Throughout the rest of the afternoon and evening there were sudden outbursts about various reptiles, generally in the high-pitched, high-speed, excited tones.

We had dinner and the Little Big Fella headed off for his shower.  When he got out I could tell he was tired.  His eyes were practically hanging out of his head.

"Yes!" thought I.  "He'll be asleep in no time!"

Ha!

As soon as I went in to say goodnight (the Big Fella had already headed off to work after dinner) the excited stories began again.  They began with him showing me all of the reptiles and telling me all about them.  Then then turned imaginative.

These snakes (the mummy, the daddy and the babies) each had their own little beds up and down his body.

This dragon can't fly because he doesn't have wings, but he can breathe fire!   And the turtle can breathe ice so that he doesn't burn when the dragon breathes fire at him.

The cage for these crocodiles only opens when I press this button on the wall and click my fingers.

I can magic this cage from over there.

I need a drink of water.  Can you watch my pets so they don't get scared from being along?

And on, and on, and on!  I don't think he took a breath for at least 15 minutes!!!  Eventually I was able to suggest that it was sleeping time.

The Little Big Fella lay down on his pillow and pulled up his covers (for the 100th time since coming in to his room), but the pets needed a story.

"One story" I agreed.

Up he jumped again to choose a book from the shelf!  (Honestly, I wish I had a fraction of his energy at this time of day!!!)

So the story was read and the child calmed enough to potentially sleep.  And I was left with a brilliant sense of my son's imagination and excitement about something I'd thought would bring fear.  I can't wait to see what happens when he goes to school!!!

Tea towel fights

When I was about 4, my family lived in a large, 2 story home.  It was my parents, myself, my two sisters... and a bunch of teenagers.  I don't actually recall how many "extras" there were in the house, but there was a girl's room upstairs and a guy's room downstairs and I think there would have been at least 4 or 5 at any one time.

I have a strong memory of that time.  I remember sneaking out of bed one night and sitting at the top of the stairs, watching a bunch of these teenagers washing the dishes.

Except, they weren't washing the dishes.  They were having tea towel fights.

I have no idea how long I sat there, watching them all laughing and screaming and threatening.  Eventually I was noticed and sent back to bed, but the scene obviously had a strong impression on me.



This evening the Big Fella was drying the dishes for me, while I washed.  He walked into the lounge and tea towel-flicked the Little Big Fella, who started bawling his eyes out!

"But I didn't do anything wrong!" he cried.

The Big Fella then grabbed another tea towel and proceeded to teach the Little Big Fella how to flick a tea towel.

The obvious next move was to attack Mummy!

We spent the next 5 or 10 minutes running around chasing each other, flicking tea towels, trying to hold limbs still whilst inflicting tickles or flicks as seemed appropriate, and laughing till our sides hurt.

And now I'm wondering if this scene will impress itself on my Little Big Fella's mind in the same way that mine did at his age?