The other day I had a little rant about some of the ridiculous expectations we have of each other in relationships.
I feel the need to continue along that theme today.
Girls, guys are not girls and they definitely can't read your mind. Most of the time they can't even read your moods. So stop expecting them to!
If you want them to bring you flowers, ask them to. Or even better, put it in their diary or phone. That way they'll be more likely to actually do it.
If you don't like flowers because you hate watching them die in the vase and drop bits all over the table, let them know.
If you'd prefer a box of fancy chocolates, tell him!
If you're allergic to something, you absolutely need to make that clear :-D
Do you have an ideal in your mind of how a particular day needs to be? Maybe on your birthday you want him to wake you up with a "Happy Birthday" and a cuppa. Or maybe you just want to go out for dinner so that you don't have to cook and clean up. Or maybe you want the whole shebang and more! If you don't let that poor fella know, you are going to be disappointed, possibly have a horrible day, and it's not going to be his fault.
Women (please note that this is a generalisation and therefore does not apply to everyone) seem to have developed a level of expectation that seems completely unrealistic. Without giving their man any form of direction or instruction (and no, hints don't count - guys can't read hints either), girls start punishing him for not doing this or that.
Why would you set each other up for failure???
Don't you love him? Do you want to have a harmonious relationship? Then talk to him. In clear, specific man-language.
If you want a dozen red roses on Valentine's Day, don't tell him you'd like some flowers then lose the plot at him for giving you a bunch of daffodils in March! Men are not stupid, but they are not women and they are not mind-readers.
Guys, let me give you a couple of tips too.
You're a smart fella and you've worked out what the signs are for your partner's time of the month. Be even smarter! If she's upset, don't tell her why! She knows. But you telling her is likely to turn her into a snarling, clawed beast (in which case, you'd better run!!!).
And even though you want to fix things for her (because that's what guys do, right?), unless she's asking you for suggestions, she doesn't actually want you to tell her what needs to be done. Unless she asks you, she probably already knows and just needs to vent. It's part of the process for most women. I know, guys don't do that! But girls do, and if they need to do it and you're the person they choose to vent at, it's actually a privilege. So just listen, nod and try to pay attention because there'll probably be information in that vent that is useful to you in future situations (eg. what bugs her, what might make her feel better... the inner workings of your woman's brain).
If she's crying, she most likely needs a hug. And not a short, half-second pat-on-the-back. A full arms and body hug for as long as it takes to stop crying, and then a little bit more. You don't even need to say anything. Just be with her while the storm passes.
I guess what I really want to say is that communicating clearly with one another in a relationship is so important. But you need to understand how the other person works as well. Because if you're effectively speaking Martian, and they only understand Saturnian, it's obviously not going to work.
So find out how your partner understands the world. Find out what makes them feel loved. Discover as much as you can about how their brain works - what fires them up, what pisses them off, what calms them down, what relaxes them. And keep discovering! Because people change over time (just to make things slightly confusing!), but you, your partner and your relationship are worth the effort!
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Friday, 7 June 2013
Tuesday, 4 June 2013
Give the guy a break!
I was listening to the radio in the car today. The hosts were talking to a woman about how "romantic" certain things were. Apparently they had recently encouraged guys to go out and buy their partners flowers, and hope that the girls hadn't heard the suggestion on the radio.
The woman the hosts were speaking to had written in because she had heard the suggestion on the radio. In her opinion, the flowers weren't "romantic" enough.
To add insult to injury, the flowers were "the ones on special from a Coles Express or a petrol station" - the ones with the clear cellophane wrapping that might have been sitting there for a day too long.
So, because the guy hadn't come up with the idea himself, and because the flowers weren't "up to standard", the girl wasn't happy and complained to the radio station hosts.
WHAT?????
Are you serious????
Your partner was reminded by a couple of strangers that you are worth buying flowers for. He then drove somewhere, where he knew there would be flowers, and paid good money for them. But that's not "romantic"???
Puh-lease!!
Girls! Let's get this straight.
If your guy needs to be reminded to buy you flowers, that's okay.
If he has to put a reminder in his phone or his diary, that's okay. In fact, that's great! Don't you realise that the things he doesn't want to forget are put in his phone or diary? Therefore, if giving you flowers is in there, you're important to him!
This might come as a shock to you, but guys are different from girls. Generally speaking, flowers are not important to them. And if their love language isn't gifts, or if they don't know that yours is, it's even harder for them.
Give the poor guy a break, and appreciate that he has taken effort to show you that he loves you and that he hopes you'll appreciate the effort and the thought (even if someone else's thought needed to kick-start his thought).
And while we're on the subject of giving your partner a break, let me continue my soap-box rant!
Why do we think that our partner has to "pay" for things? And no, I'm not talking about money.
He doesn't take the rubbish out so she refuses to kiss him.
She doesn't let him watch the footy, so he's arrogant and rude.
He watches TV while eating a dinner that she's put extra effort into making.
She spends all night on Facebook, going to bed long after he's asleep.
It really bothers me when people refuse, first of all, to enunciate their wishes, and secondly to be polite to (at least in theory) the most important person in their lives.
Your partner is the person you've chosen to be with! You love them! Why on earth would you speak rudely to them??? Just because they love you? That doesn't make sense! Surely they should be the person you try most hard to please, to meet their needs, to make their lives as good as possible!
And they love you, right? So surely asking them (politely) to do something for you isn't a big deal.
I know. My head is in a world of relationship utopia. All is love and rainbows and fairytales.
No.
The world is not perfect. And relationships can be really hard.
But surely it's worth the effort! Surely a bit of respect, politeness and, at the very least, civility is worth the effort with the one you love! Isn't it better than letting your relationship unwind in a long string of unspoken desires, harsh words, neglect and despair?
I really, honestly think it is.
The woman the hosts were speaking to had written in because she had heard the suggestion on the radio. In her opinion, the flowers weren't "romantic" enough.
To add insult to injury, the flowers were "the ones on special from a Coles Express or a petrol station" - the ones with the clear cellophane wrapping that might have been sitting there for a day too long.
So, because the guy hadn't come up with the idea himself, and because the flowers weren't "up to standard", the girl wasn't happy and complained to the radio station hosts.
WHAT?????
Are you serious????
Your partner was reminded by a couple of strangers that you are worth buying flowers for. He then drove somewhere, where he knew there would be flowers, and paid good money for them. But that's not "romantic"???
Puh-lease!!
Girls! Let's get this straight.
If your guy needs to be reminded to buy you flowers, that's okay.
If he has to put a reminder in his phone or his diary, that's okay. In fact, that's great! Don't you realise that the things he doesn't want to forget are put in his phone or diary? Therefore, if giving you flowers is in there, you're important to him!
This might come as a shock to you, but guys are different from girls. Generally speaking, flowers are not important to them. And if their love language isn't gifts, or if they don't know that yours is, it's even harder for them.
Give the poor guy a break, and appreciate that he has taken effort to show you that he loves you and that he hopes you'll appreciate the effort and the thought (even if someone else's thought needed to kick-start his thought).
And while we're on the subject of giving your partner a break, let me continue my soap-box rant!
Why do we think that our partner has to "pay" for things? And no, I'm not talking about money.
He doesn't take the rubbish out so she refuses to kiss him.
She doesn't let him watch the footy, so he's arrogant and rude.
He watches TV while eating a dinner that she's put extra effort into making.
She spends all night on Facebook, going to bed long after he's asleep.
It really bothers me when people refuse, first of all, to enunciate their wishes, and secondly to be polite to (at least in theory) the most important person in their lives.
Your partner is the person you've chosen to be with! You love them! Why on earth would you speak rudely to them??? Just because they love you? That doesn't make sense! Surely they should be the person you try most hard to please, to meet their needs, to make their lives as good as possible!
And they love you, right? So surely asking them (politely) to do something for you isn't a big deal.
I know. My head is in a world of relationship utopia. All is love and rainbows and fairytales.
No.
The world is not perfect. And relationships can be really hard.
But surely it's worth the effort! Surely a bit of respect, politeness and, at the very least, civility is worth the effort with the one you love! Isn't it better than letting your relationship unwind in a long string of unspoken desires, harsh words, neglect and despair?
I really, honestly think it is.
Saturday, 18 May 2013
The secret's out
I've seen a few TV shows over the past few years that have disurbed me. They've shown young people out partying and having a good time.
Nothing disturbing about that, right?
WRONG!!!
Here's my secret (I suspect not many of you will be surprised by this):
I'm a prude.
I am an old-fashioned prude.
See, when I watch young people out drinking up a storm, or taking so-called "party drugs", or making out with whoever they happen to come into contact with, I don't think "there's the life!" I think "that's so sad!" and I wonder how they'll feel in the morning.
I've never been a big party-er (surprise, surprise!), although I have certainly been out partying. I love to dance!
I'm not a big drinker, although I have had enough to make the room spin uncomfortably, and I quite enjoy a glass of wine or two.
And I don't take drugs. In fact, I've never even smoked a cigarette (unless you count second hand smoke, which we all know can do as much damage).
Some people would say I've missed out. They could be right! But I guess I never got into the party scene because it always seemed so superficial to me. I could never see the point of kissing a guy I'd never see again. And attempting to make conversation when the music is louder than my own thoughts... well, let's just say it's not my cup of tea ;-)
I am one of those rare creatures who didn't sleep with anyone until I was married. I know! It's shocking, isn't it??? But I don't feel like I've missed out on anything. I got to discover my sexuality with a man who loves me and won't reject me, regardless of what I do and don't like. I've never had to do "the walk of shame" and I've never felt guilty or uncomfortable about anything I've done.
I'm not saying that everyone whose experience is different to mine is wrong or bad or anything stupid like that. Just that this is my experience and matches my personality and background.
I am a prude.
And I reckon I might just be a little bit proud of that!
Nothing disturbing about that, right?
WRONG!!!
Here's my secret (I suspect not many of you will be surprised by this):
I'm a prude.
I am an old-fashioned prude.
See, when I watch young people out drinking up a storm, or taking so-called "party drugs", or making out with whoever they happen to come into contact with, I don't think "there's the life!" I think "that's so sad!" and I wonder how they'll feel in the morning.
I've never been a big party-er (surprise, surprise!), although I have certainly been out partying. I love to dance!
I'm not a big drinker, although I have had enough to make the room spin uncomfortably, and I quite enjoy a glass of wine or two.
And I don't take drugs. In fact, I've never even smoked a cigarette (unless you count second hand smoke, which we all know can do as much damage).
Some people would say I've missed out. They could be right! But I guess I never got into the party scene because it always seemed so superficial to me. I could never see the point of kissing a guy I'd never see again. And attempting to make conversation when the music is louder than my own thoughts... well, let's just say it's not my cup of tea ;-)
I am one of those rare creatures who didn't sleep with anyone until I was married. I know! It's shocking, isn't it??? But I don't feel like I've missed out on anything. I got to discover my sexuality with a man who loves me and won't reject me, regardless of what I do and don't like. I've never had to do "the walk of shame" and I've never felt guilty or uncomfortable about anything I've done.
I'm not saying that everyone whose experience is different to mine is wrong or bad or anything stupid like that. Just that this is my experience and matches my personality and background.
I am a prude.
And I reckon I might just be a little bit proud of that!
Monday, 13 May 2013
Diamonds
When the Big Fella and I were first dating and engaged, he decided that it was probably going to be the last opportunity he had for a while to splurge on me and buy me expensive jewelery.
So as well as my engagement ring, he bought me some diamond earrings and had a necklace made for me.
Well, when the Little Big Fella and I were in the motel room after the accident, I discovered that I'd lost one of my earrings. I nearly lost that plot right then. I mean, it's such a small thing really, but added to everything else that had happened that day, plus the sentimental value of those particular earrings, it was just a bit too much.
I casually mentioned it to the Big Fella a day or so after we got home, trying not to make as big a deal of it as it felt to me.
The weekend that we returned the hire car, borrowing a friend's car to get home, we also stopped at the major shopping centre there to stock up. As the Little Big Fella and I were wandering around, the Big Fella poked his nose into the jeweler's. You guessed it! He was looking at diamond earrings!
I nearly cried. My husband knew that I loved those earrings, not because of their monetary value, but because they were a representation of him and his generosity and love. And here he was, choosing exactly the ones I would have chosen (just like he did with my engagement ring, by the way).
I love my husband.
We didn't have the cash to buy them on the spot so the Big Fella paid a deposit, then asked if they clean rings. My wedding and engagement rings haven't been cleaned in quite a while, and being "white gold" need to be re-plated every now and then.
So he had them send my rings off to be re-plated and cleaned as well.
We are still car-less so when we received the call the other day saying that all was ready to collect, I assumed it would still be a few weeks until we'd have the opportunity to go and get them. But, no! My Big Fella put our plight to the lady at the store and she offered to have her son drop them to us on his way through to the coast.
Guess what day they came through! Mother's Day! And they were beautifully boxed and wrapped.
So now I have a full set of clean, beautiful diamond jewelery again. Aren't I a lucky girl???
Oh! You want to see them? Okay :-D
So as well as my engagement ring, he bought me some diamond earrings and had a necklace made for me.
Well, when the Little Big Fella and I were in the motel room after the accident, I discovered that I'd lost one of my earrings. I nearly lost that plot right then. I mean, it's such a small thing really, but added to everything else that had happened that day, plus the sentimental value of those particular earrings, it was just a bit too much.
I casually mentioned it to the Big Fella a day or so after we got home, trying not to make as big a deal of it as it felt to me.
The weekend that we returned the hire car, borrowing a friend's car to get home, we also stopped at the major shopping centre there to stock up. As the Little Big Fella and I were wandering around, the Big Fella poked his nose into the jeweler's. You guessed it! He was looking at diamond earrings!
I nearly cried. My husband knew that I loved those earrings, not because of their monetary value, but because they were a representation of him and his generosity and love. And here he was, choosing exactly the ones I would have chosen (just like he did with my engagement ring, by the way).
I love my husband.
We didn't have the cash to buy them on the spot so the Big Fella paid a deposit, then asked if they clean rings. My wedding and engagement rings haven't been cleaned in quite a while, and being "white gold" need to be re-plated every now and then.
So he had them send my rings off to be re-plated and cleaned as well.
We are still car-less so when we received the call the other day saying that all was ready to collect, I assumed it would still be a few weeks until we'd have the opportunity to go and get them. But, no! My Big Fella put our plight to the lady at the store and she offered to have her son drop them to us on his way through to the coast.
Guess what day they came through! Mother's Day! And they were beautifully boxed and wrapped.
So now I have a full set of clean, beautiful diamond jewelery again. Aren't I a lucky girl???
Oh! You want to see them? Okay :-D
Thursday, 31 January 2013
A wonderful day
It's funny. When I think about the day we've just had, it doesn't seem all that fantastic. And perhaps, if we did the same activities on another day, it would seem like just a good, or regular day.
But looking back on today, I feel wonderful. I feel happy. I feel closer to my Fellas.
We got up early and travelled to our nearest large town. We did a little shopping and then the Fellas took off to the outdoors and gun shop, while I went and spent some of a Christmas voucher the Big Fella gave me.
After lunch at KFC, we headed off to the dam nearby and spent a couple of hours splashing in the water, exploring and skipping stones. And laughing. There was a lot of laughing!
And I guess that's why it was such a wonderful day. We spent time together, playing and laughing. I think that days like today, particularly moments like those, are the times all these inspirational posters that say, "live, laugh, love" are about.
We got to live together, making the most of the moment, laughing and learning to love one another more. If only we could all have more of these kinds of days - acknowledging the beauty in life and one another!
But looking back on today, I feel wonderful. I feel happy. I feel closer to my Fellas.
We got up early and travelled to our nearest large town. We did a little shopping and then the Fellas took off to the outdoors and gun shop, while I went and spent some of a Christmas voucher the Big Fella gave me.
After lunch at KFC, we headed off to the dam nearby and spent a couple of hours splashing in the water, exploring and skipping stones. And laughing. There was a lot of laughing!
And I guess that's why it was such a wonderful day. We spent time together, playing and laughing. I think that days like today, particularly moments like those, are the times all these inspirational posters that say, "live, laugh, love" are about.
We got to live together, making the most of the moment, laughing and learning to love one another more. If only we could all have more of these kinds of days - acknowledging the beauty in life and one another!
Tuesday, 29 January 2013
First day of kindy
Wow! It's finally here!!! My Little Big Fella started kindergarten this morning (the year before starting school) and he woke up SO excited!!! We've been counting down to this day for about a month, and talking up how much fun he'll have and all of that.
Last week we had a "meet and greet" at the kindy to meet his teachers and classmates. It was a fun hour and he was so enthusiastic afterwards! (He decided to wear his Superman suit - he's on a major superhero thing at the moment)
Over the past couple of days I've labelled all of his kindy clothes, lunch box, "school" bag and so on. And last night I made his lunch and packed it into his new lunchbox (that was a jigsaw puzzle if ever I've tried one!).
This morning I got up a little earlier than normal. I wanted to make sure everything was ready and that it wasn't a stressful morning.
At 6:07 I heard someone moving about. Then there was the telltale thumping run down the hallway and my Little Big Fella was in the kitchen asking if today was kindy day. He was so excited he wanted to put on his backpack and go right then and there :-D
So we eventually got him in his new kindy clothes and took some photos for you all :-D
And then, all of a sudden, it was time to go!
Because of the weather around here lately, the Big Fella was home from work today (you know, it's kind of hard to drive a train when the track has been washed away!) so we all got to go together.
It was slightly organised chaos at the kindy, with kids and parents everywhere, trying to work out what they were supposed to be doing and signing kids in, and finding the lunch fridge and saying goodbyes. The Little Big Fella headed straight for the sandpit and was quite happy, thank you very much!
But then all the kids had to go inside and sit down on the mat. I took him inside and sat him down but he suddenly went all "shy". I can understand though - he's never had to sit down on a mat before in his life, he didn't know anyone there, and Mummy was about to leave. I quickly took him outside to give Daddy a hug and kiss goodbye, gave him a hug and kiss, popped him back on the mat and told him I'd stand at the door for a minute and then we'd go.
This was obviously my mistake.
He was fine until, after about a minute, I smiled, waved and blew him a kiss. Suddenly the lower lip trembled and his hands went over his eyes and he was crying. He ran out and hugged me and I tried to tell him it would be okay.
Thankfully at that point one of the teachers came over and asked him if he'd like to help her get the paints ready for everyone. And that was it! He was off and so were we!
I've been waiting for kindy to start for months. I love my son very much, but I've been hanging out for some time alone.
So imagine my surprise when I got about half way through the day and realised that I'd been feeling grief! I nearly fell over the mop I'd been using to keep myself occupied!!!
Today is the first in a long series of letting go moments, and the realisation that one day my Little Big Fella won't need me was a tad overwhelming. I guess especially so because I wasn't expecting to have any maudlin-style thoughts either.
Anyway, the day was filled with attempting to food shop in a half-empty store (more on that in another post), house cleaning, lunch and rejoicing in the return of the internet to our house.
Then, all of a sudden, it was time to go and pick the Little Big Fella up again!
When we got there he ran up and told me he'd had a good day, and I got to collect his first (of many, I'm guessing) kindy painting. He even asked when he gets to go back to kindy, so it was obviously a good day.
It was quite hot today so we decided to go for a swim at the pool before coming home. We had such a fun time playing together in the water and it was SO nice to be cool after such a hot day!
There was lots of laughter too, because the Little Big Fella was racing the Big Fella from me to the steps of the pool. Regardless of what happened, the Little Big Fella declared, "I win!". He even directed the Big Fella to swim toward me from the steps, before launching off me to the steps and claiming to win the race!
We ended up having an early dinner because we were all quite hungry. The Little Big Fella had a shower and was in bed before it was even dark. But he wasn't really tired yet.
Just then we got a phone call from one of his friends' mums, asking if we'd like to go to the park and have a play.
So we did!
We ended up having a play for almost two hours. The sun was down and the lights were on and the boys still wanted to keep playing! They're really good mates, and seem to have a similar approach to playtime :-)
When we got back home, the Big Fella informed us that his parents had been on Skype and desperately wanted to talk to the Little Big Fella about his first day of kindy. So we quickly contacted them and had a chat before packing him off to bed.
I read him a couple of books and as he was laying down to sleep he told me a bit more about his day. Apparently he'd read a book about dinosaurs and had been "teached" during rest time because he didn't have a sleep.
I feel so satisfied tonight. My little boy is growing into an interesting, fun person and I'm awfully proud of him.
Last week we had a "meet and greet" at the kindy to meet his teachers and classmates. It was a fun hour and he was so enthusiastic afterwards! (He decided to wear his Superman suit - he's on a major superhero thing at the moment)
Over the past couple of days I've labelled all of his kindy clothes, lunch box, "school" bag and so on. And last night I made his lunch and packed it into his new lunchbox (that was a jigsaw puzzle if ever I've tried one!).
This morning I got up a little earlier than normal. I wanted to make sure everything was ready and that it wasn't a stressful morning.
At 6:07 I heard someone moving about. Then there was the telltale thumping run down the hallway and my Little Big Fella was in the kitchen asking if today was kindy day. He was so excited he wanted to put on his backpack and go right then and there :-D
So we eventually got him in his new kindy clothes and took some photos for you all :-D
And then, all of a sudden, it was time to go!
Because of the weather around here lately, the Big Fella was home from work today (you know, it's kind of hard to drive a train when the track has been washed away!) so we all got to go together.
It was slightly organised chaos at the kindy, with kids and parents everywhere, trying to work out what they were supposed to be doing and signing kids in, and finding the lunch fridge and saying goodbyes. The Little Big Fella headed straight for the sandpit and was quite happy, thank you very much!
But then all the kids had to go inside and sit down on the mat. I took him inside and sat him down but he suddenly went all "shy". I can understand though - he's never had to sit down on a mat before in his life, he didn't know anyone there, and Mummy was about to leave. I quickly took him outside to give Daddy a hug and kiss goodbye, gave him a hug and kiss, popped him back on the mat and told him I'd stand at the door for a minute and then we'd go.
This was obviously my mistake.
He was fine until, after about a minute, I smiled, waved and blew him a kiss. Suddenly the lower lip trembled and his hands went over his eyes and he was crying. He ran out and hugged me and I tried to tell him it would be okay.
Thankfully at that point one of the teachers came over and asked him if he'd like to help her get the paints ready for everyone. And that was it! He was off and so were we!
I've been waiting for kindy to start for months. I love my son very much, but I've been hanging out for some time alone.
So imagine my surprise when I got about half way through the day and realised that I'd been feeling grief! I nearly fell over the mop I'd been using to keep myself occupied!!!
Today is the first in a long series of letting go moments, and the realisation that one day my Little Big Fella won't need me was a tad overwhelming. I guess especially so because I wasn't expecting to have any maudlin-style thoughts either.
Anyway, the day was filled with attempting to food shop in a half-empty store (more on that in another post), house cleaning, lunch and rejoicing in the return of the internet to our house.
Then, all of a sudden, it was time to go and pick the Little Big Fella up again!
When we got there he ran up and told me he'd had a good day, and I got to collect his first (of many, I'm guessing) kindy painting. He even asked when he gets to go back to kindy, so it was obviously a good day.
It was quite hot today so we decided to go for a swim at the pool before coming home. We had such a fun time playing together in the water and it was SO nice to be cool after such a hot day!
There was lots of laughter too, because the Little Big Fella was racing the Big Fella from me to the steps of the pool. Regardless of what happened, the Little Big Fella declared, "I win!". He even directed the Big Fella to swim toward me from the steps, before launching off me to the steps and claiming to win the race!
We ended up having an early dinner because we were all quite hungry. The Little Big Fella had a shower and was in bed before it was even dark. But he wasn't really tired yet.
Just then we got a phone call from one of his friends' mums, asking if we'd like to go to the park and have a play.
So we did!
We ended up having a play for almost two hours. The sun was down and the lights were on and the boys still wanted to keep playing! They're really good mates, and seem to have a similar approach to playtime :-)
When we got back home, the Big Fella informed us that his parents had been on Skype and desperately wanted to talk to the Little Big Fella about his first day of kindy. So we quickly contacted them and had a chat before packing him off to bed.
I read him a couple of books and as he was laying down to sleep he told me a bit more about his day. Apparently he'd read a book about dinosaurs and had been "teached" during rest time because he didn't have a sleep.
I feel so satisfied tonight. My little boy is growing into an interesting, fun person and I'm awfully proud of him.
Tuesday, 20 November 2012
From the mouths of babes...
The Big Fella had another day off today so we'd planned to go and check out a new swimming spot on the river, about an hour away. When we woke up this morning, we didn't really feel like travelling that far.
Yesterday we'd taken the Little Big Fella to his swimming lesson at the pool in the next town, then stayed and had a bit of a splash around together. That had been fun so we decided to pack a lunch and go there instead.
So we got up and did a few things around the house and packed the lunches and the water and the towels, then eventually headed over to the pool. Somewhere along the line the food bag was left behind :-( Luckily they do pretty yummy hot dogs with onion, bacon, cheese, mustard and sauce :-)
While we were swimming around a young lady came into the pool at the stairs where we were playing. The Little Big Fella pipes up and says, "she's taken her swimsuit off!". To which I had the dubious responsibility of replying, "no honey, that's her swimsuit. It's called a bikini."
We've had a couple of moments like that just recently. Somewhere along this parenting journey I've developed the skill of not being embarrassed about stuff that used to make me blush profusely! Not quite sure if it's a positive or negative addition, but it's rather useful at the moment.
This afternoon the Fellas were sitting on the couch. The Little Big Fella has been talking about all his friends lately, saying how old they are by holding up that many fingers. So he was telling the Big Fella that one of his friends is "this many", holding up one hand with all fingers and thumb sticking out.
"Daddy, are you this many?"
"No, I'm more than that."
"How big are you?"
Daddy puts his hand on his head and says, "this big".
"How fat are you Daddy?"
(By this point I'm giggling away around the corner.)
Daddy puts his hand on his tummy and says, "this fat!" and has a little chuckle himself.
You know, there are some pretty cool surprises being a parent. Watching and listening to the way their little brains work and how they figure things out is amazing.
When we're driving the Little Big Fella often asks, "are we on the highway?" And just recently we were not on the highway when he asked so his follow up question was, "are we on the low way?" I just thought that was fantastic reasoning for a 3 and a half year old!
Yeah, there are some pretty cool moments as a Mummy. But my favourite has to be when he just comes up to me, gives me a hug and says, "Mummy, I love you".
Yesterday we'd taken the Little Big Fella to his swimming lesson at the pool in the next town, then stayed and had a bit of a splash around together. That had been fun so we decided to pack a lunch and go there instead.
So we got up and did a few things around the house and packed the lunches and the water and the towels, then eventually headed over to the pool. Somewhere along the line the food bag was left behind :-( Luckily they do pretty yummy hot dogs with onion, bacon, cheese, mustard and sauce :-)
While we were swimming around a young lady came into the pool at the stairs where we were playing. The Little Big Fella pipes up and says, "she's taken her swimsuit off!". To which I had the dubious responsibility of replying, "no honey, that's her swimsuit. It's called a bikini."
We've had a couple of moments like that just recently. Somewhere along this parenting journey I've developed the skill of not being embarrassed about stuff that used to make me blush profusely! Not quite sure if it's a positive or negative addition, but it's rather useful at the moment.
This afternoon the Fellas were sitting on the couch. The Little Big Fella has been talking about all his friends lately, saying how old they are by holding up that many fingers. So he was telling the Big Fella that one of his friends is "this many", holding up one hand with all fingers and thumb sticking out.
"Daddy, are you this many?"
"No, I'm more than that."
"How big are you?"
Daddy puts his hand on his head and says, "this big".
"How fat are you Daddy?"
(By this point I'm giggling away around the corner.)
Daddy puts his hand on his tummy and says, "this fat!" and has a little chuckle himself.
You know, there are some pretty cool surprises being a parent. Watching and listening to the way their little brains work and how they figure things out is amazing.
When we're driving the Little Big Fella often asks, "are we on the highway?" And just recently we were not on the highway when he asked so his follow up question was, "are we on the low way?" I just thought that was fantastic reasoning for a 3 and a half year old!
Yeah, there are some pretty cool moments as a Mummy. But my favourite has to be when he just comes up to me, gives me a hug and says, "Mummy, I love you".
Saturday, 1 September 2012
Daddy, I love you
Back in May I dedicated a post to my Mum. Well, I've been planning to do this for a while, and seeing that tomorrow is Father's Day here in Australia, it's time to do a post for my Dad.
I was really lucky because my Dad worked from home for most of my growing up years. That meant he always had time for me. Even with three siblings, I always felt like he had time for me.
Dad spent a lot of time in the car over the years! He drove me and my three siblings to school when it was wet, various friends' places and events and all the things that kids and then pre-drivers get up to :-) And he was always happy to do it! I don't recall him ever complaining about it, or even being slightly grumpy. I'm a bit in awe of that actually!
I think my strongest memories of my Dad are the times that he drove me to dance classes. It would be just him and me in the car most of the time and I could pick his brains about anything. We had a great, communicative relationship anyway, but driving time was the best!
I was certain my Dad knew everything, because, like most little girls I guess, my Dad was my hero! And he did have an answer for all my questions!
See, Mum was my practical wisdom go-to person, but Dad was my philosophical wisdom go-to person. And I loved exploring the goods and evils of the world with him, the whys and wherefores of schoolground politics, how I should react to the mean boys or nasty girls, or the boring teachers ;-). Dad was a pastor so I also talked about all aspects of Christianity with him too. He explained stuff that was way over my head in ways that really made sense to me.
Dad also ran (with Mum and some other people) a primary (elementary) school aged youth group. It was so fun! It was kind of based around Scouts so we did lots of games and stories, but also learned life skills like map reading, lighting fires, rescuing people and basic first aid. I was always so proud of how much Dad knew and how well he taught it, and that my friends got to see how lucky I was.
And I always knew how lucky I was to get the Dad I got. I knew, without a doubt that my Dad loved (and still does love) me! He gave me time, knowledge, patience, wisdom, computer skills, and a framework for viewing and evaluating my life. There is no way I would be the person I am today without my Dad!
We had lots of fun with Dad too! He instilled in us a love for playing cards and board games. I'm pretty sure almost every school holidays included us all playing Rummiking or Threes together. And those times were full of laughter.
And, of course, the days out in the bush running around, following Dad rock jumping along rivers and creeks, lighting the fire and cooking snags (sausages) for lunch, then finishing off with some toasted marshmallows or damper with lots of butter and jam.
Dad always had music on in the house too. The radio or a cassette (showing my age), and always a whole range of music - international music, Christian, pop, rock, and others. I don't think we had much classical or opera in the house, but I love the range of music that he introduced me to.
When I was a pre-schooler, Dad flew small planes and I remember flying with him when I was only 3 or 4 and feeling so safe, even when the plane got a bit bouncy from turbulence. Thanks to him I've never been afraid to fly!
As I got older, my Dad was still the person I went to if I was feeling blown about by the world. He is a rock of reason and comfort. The times I've felt like I had it all figured out and then the rug gets pulled out from under me, Dad has been a solace, helping me to find my feet again.
Now that I'm all grown up and married and have a child of my own, I'm still inspired by my Dad. As he and Mum go out and re-create their life in many ways, Dad inspires me to discover and re-discover the things I love; To expand my horizons and stretch my boundaries; To reconsider the things that I thought I'd written off and see if they actually still fit me; To value friendships, old and new; to dare to live the life that I've been given.
My Dad is a romantic and writes great letters and cards. Birthdays, Christmas and other card-giving occasions always included specific mentions of the things he loved about us or was proud of or thankful for. I don't know about my siblings, but it always makes me feel so special and loved.
Dad isn't a handy man - he doesn't fix things or rebuild cars or much along that line. But he taught us what he did know and always made me feel loved. And I think that's THE most important thing for a father to do - make sure your kids feel special and loved, and know that you're proud of them.
Dad, you score 100% on that one! I love you so much and am SO grateful to have been blessed with you for a father! Being this far away has its particularly sucky parts, like not being able to share a great meal and bottle of wine with you tomorrow. But I want you to know that I value the impact you've had on me, and the love you give. You're still my hero Daddy and I miss you so much. I hope you have a great day tomorrow and I'm looking forward to calling you and having a good ol' chat :-D I love you heaps!
I was really lucky because my Dad worked from home for most of my growing up years. That meant he always had time for me. Even with three siblings, I always felt like he had time for me.
Dad spent a lot of time in the car over the years! He drove me and my three siblings to school when it was wet, various friends' places and events and all the things that kids and then pre-drivers get up to :-) And he was always happy to do it! I don't recall him ever complaining about it, or even being slightly grumpy. I'm a bit in awe of that actually!
I think my strongest memories of my Dad are the times that he drove me to dance classes. It would be just him and me in the car most of the time and I could pick his brains about anything. We had a great, communicative relationship anyway, but driving time was the best!
I was certain my Dad knew everything, because, like most little girls I guess, my Dad was my hero! And he did have an answer for all my questions!
See, Mum was my practical wisdom go-to person, but Dad was my philosophical wisdom go-to person. And I loved exploring the goods and evils of the world with him, the whys and wherefores of schoolground politics, how I should react to the mean boys or nasty girls, or the boring teachers ;-). Dad was a pastor so I also talked about all aspects of Christianity with him too. He explained stuff that was way over my head in ways that really made sense to me.
Dad also ran (with Mum and some other people) a primary (elementary) school aged youth group. It was so fun! It was kind of based around Scouts so we did lots of games and stories, but also learned life skills like map reading, lighting fires, rescuing people and basic first aid. I was always so proud of how much Dad knew and how well he taught it, and that my friends got to see how lucky I was.
And I always knew how lucky I was to get the Dad I got. I knew, without a doubt that my Dad loved (and still does love) me! He gave me time, knowledge, patience, wisdom, computer skills, and a framework for viewing and evaluating my life. There is no way I would be the person I am today without my Dad!
We had lots of fun with Dad too! He instilled in us a love for playing cards and board games. I'm pretty sure almost every school holidays included us all playing Rummiking or Threes together. And those times were full of laughter.
And, of course, the days out in the bush running around, following Dad rock jumping along rivers and creeks, lighting the fire and cooking snags (sausages) for lunch, then finishing off with some toasted marshmallows or damper with lots of butter and jam.
Dad always had music on in the house too. The radio or a cassette (showing my age), and always a whole range of music - international music, Christian, pop, rock, and others. I don't think we had much classical or opera in the house, but I love the range of music that he introduced me to.
When I was a pre-schooler, Dad flew small planes and I remember flying with him when I was only 3 or 4 and feeling so safe, even when the plane got a bit bouncy from turbulence. Thanks to him I've never been afraid to fly!
As I got older, my Dad was still the person I went to if I was feeling blown about by the world. He is a rock of reason and comfort. The times I've felt like I had it all figured out and then the rug gets pulled out from under me, Dad has been a solace, helping me to find my feet again.
Now that I'm all grown up and married and have a child of my own, I'm still inspired by my Dad. As he and Mum go out and re-create their life in many ways, Dad inspires me to discover and re-discover the things I love; To expand my horizons and stretch my boundaries; To reconsider the things that I thought I'd written off and see if they actually still fit me; To value friendships, old and new; to dare to live the life that I've been given.
My Dad is a romantic and writes great letters and cards. Birthdays, Christmas and other card-giving occasions always included specific mentions of the things he loved about us or was proud of or thankful for. I don't know about my siblings, but it always makes me feel so special and loved.
Dad isn't a handy man - he doesn't fix things or rebuild cars or much along that line. But he taught us what he did know and always made me feel loved. And I think that's THE most important thing for a father to do - make sure your kids feel special and loved, and know that you're proud of them.
Dad, you score 100% on that one! I love you so much and am SO grateful to have been blessed with you for a father! Being this far away has its particularly sucky parts, like not being able to share a great meal and bottle of wine with you tomorrow. But I want you to know that I value the impact you've had on me, and the love you give. You're still my hero Daddy and I miss you so much. I hope you have a great day tomorrow and I'm looking forward to calling you and having a good ol' chat :-D I love you heaps!
Monday, 13 August 2012
Life, love and the end of it all
I've watched a couple of movies over the past few days, and had a couple of conversations that have got me thinking about the big issues: life, love and death.
What's the meaning of life? What makes a good life?
Is love the most important thing? And if so, what does that look like?
What happens when you die? What does it feel like? And how come some people seem quite ready to go, while others are hanging on with every ounce of effort they have?
See? The big issues!
And I'm not even going to attempt to answer any of those questions here because I suspect the answers are either unobtainable or completely individual.
But, because I have a blog, and because this is what I've been contemplating, I'll do a little bit of blurting and processing and see what we come up with :-D
We watched "Meet Joe Black" the other night. I love that movie! I love the concept of it, I love "death"'s naive, semi-vulnerable character, I love the presentation of the big themes of life. I love the way they present the concept of a striking love that lasts a lifetime, where each knows the worst of the other and is still happy to hang around.
Which reminded me of a scene in "Good Will Hunting" where Robin Williams' character is recalling his dead wife. He remembers all the odd, quirky habits that made her unique, and these were the things that he missed most about her.
Which got me thinking about the quirkiness of my husband and son.
The Big Fella snores... and I love it! When we first got married I remember laying in bed next to him (weird concept, but we didn't sleep together until then) and trying to stifle my laughter as I listened to the unique rhythm of his breathing. I love it!
I love the way he responds to books and movies. I love his insatiable appetite for knowledge, and that his integrity and character mean I can trust him with my heart and my life.
I fell in love with my son the moment he was born (which is lucky for both of us or we might not have survived those first few years). I'd never believed in the concept of love at first sight until then. And I know not everyone has that experience. But ever since that moment I have been privileged to discover my amazing Little Big Fella's quirks and personality. I'm learning that, like his dad, he's not a follower. He has a fantastic sense of humour. He's a little bit precocious. He is imaginative and sensitive and such a boy!
I am so privileged to have amazing people in my life! Not just my boys, but friends (old and new) and family.
We watched "Eat, Pray, Love" this evening. My favourite part of the movie is when she's in Italy because she experiences the amazing phenomena of friendship and family. I am seriously lucky to have grown up in a wonderful family! I am the oldest of four children and my parents are still together and very much in love, as are my grandparents. My parents worked really hard to make sure we spoke to, and treated each other with respect. Yep, we fought like siblings do, but we have always loved each other, and the impact of growing up in that environment is indescribable!
I also grew up in the church, which, for me was an extension of my family. They supported and challenged me. We had a lot of fun times together. And every time we moved towns, the church was like an instant family wherever we went.
For me, life seems to be about people and your relationships with them. When people get close to death, they seem to want to spend as much time as they can with the people they love. And I'm guessing the more people you love, or the more you've invested in those relationships, the happier your life is and the more content you'll be when it comes to an end.
What's the meaning of life? What makes a good life?
Is love the most important thing? And if so, what does that look like?
What happens when you die? What does it feel like? And how come some people seem quite ready to go, while others are hanging on with every ounce of effort they have?
See? The big issues!
And I'm not even going to attempt to answer any of those questions here because I suspect the answers are either unobtainable or completely individual.
But, because I have a blog, and because this is what I've been contemplating, I'll do a little bit of blurting and processing and see what we come up with :-D
We watched "Meet Joe Black" the other night. I love that movie! I love the concept of it, I love "death"'s naive, semi-vulnerable character, I love the presentation of the big themes of life. I love the way they present the concept of a striking love that lasts a lifetime, where each knows the worst of the other and is still happy to hang around.
Which reminded me of a scene in "Good Will Hunting" where Robin Williams' character is recalling his dead wife. He remembers all the odd, quirky habits that made her unique, and these were the things that he missed most about her.
Which got me thinking about the quirkiness of my husband and son.
The Big Fella snores... and I love it! When we first got married I remember laying in bed next to him (weird concept, but we didn't sleep together until then) and trying to stifle my laughter as I listened to the unique rhythm of his breathing. I love it!
I love the way he responds to books and movies. I love his insatiable appetite for knowledge, and that his integrity and character mean I can trust him with my heart and my life.
I fell in love with my son the moment he was born (which is lucky for both of us or we might not have survived those first few years). I'd never believed in the concept of love at first sight until then. And I know not everyone has that experience. But ever since that moment I have been privileged to discover my amazing Little Big Fella's quirks and personality. I'm learning that, like his dad, he's not a follower. He has a fantastic sense of humour. He's a little bit precocious. He is imaginative and sensitive and such a boy!
I am so privileged to have amazing people in my life! Not just my boys, but friends (old and new) and family.
We watched "Eat, Pray, Love" this evening. My favourite part of the movie is when she's in Italy because she experiences the amazing phenomena of friendship and family. I am seriously lucky to have grown up in a wonderful family! I am the oldest of four children and my parents are still together and very much in love, as are my grandparents. My parents worked really hard to make sure we spoke to, and treated each other with respect. Yep, we fought like siblings do, but we have always loved each other, and the impact of growing up in that environment is indescribable!
I also grew up in the church, which, for me was an extension of my family. They supported and challenged me. We had a lot of fun times together. And every time we moved towns, the church was like an instant family wherever we went.
For me, life seems to be about people and your relationships with them. When people get close to death, they seem to want to spend as much time as they can with the people they love. And I'm guessing the more people you love, or the more you've invested in those relationships, the happier your life is and the more content you'll be when it comes to an end.
Wednesday, 8 August 2012
Birthday? So what!
When I went to bed last night, exhausted almost to the point of collapse (the Little Big Fella had been hard work), the last thing the Big Fella said to me was something about it being my birthday tomorrow.
In typical melancholy style, I looked around and saw the dishes all over the kitchen, thought of the washing that needed doing and the toddler who would need my attention and thought, "what's so good about having a birthday as an adult anyway?"
I knew what my present was and, despite requesting it, doubted that it would be wrapped or that there would be a card (oh ye of little faith).
I knew there would be no cake unless I made it (although, I'd rather some fruit and yoghurt anyway).
And I knew that the main responsibility of caring for our son would be mine.
What's the point? What is it that makes a birthday different to any other day of the year, now that I'm an adult and a mum?
And with that depressing thought I went to sleep.
I woke early this morning (early equals before 7 these days, which is awesome compared to the 4:30/5am starts I was getting at the start of the year!), crept into the kitchen and made some breakfast (ignoring the dishes that were still all over the place) and crept back to the office to catch up on some blog reading and such.
I got a whole hour to myself!
For those of you that didn't catch that (or the fact that it's a big deal) I'll repeat it. I got a whole hour to myself!!!
The Little Big Fella didn't wake up until just before 8! I got a whole hour to read and type and do whatever without interruption!!! Amazing! And just what the doctor ordered.
When the Little Big Fella did wake up, he didn't get up straight away, but put his DVD player on and watched a little bit of Tigger and Pooh so I got myself ready and went downstairs for a workout. Although I had a couple of interruptions, I got my workout done (and worked hard I have to say) then came up to find the Big Fella awake and asking for a coffee.
I looked at the time and realised we were going to be late for Music Makers. I mentioned this a couple of weeks ago - it's a class for pre-school kids and they're learning various musical terms, using various instruments and a microphone, and doing some basic dance/coordination moves. Yesterday I'd asked the Little Big Fella if he wanted to go to playgroup or Music Makers and he emphatically chose Music Makers so that's where we went today.
On our way out of town (Music Makers is in the town 15 minutes away) we stopped at the "post office" (the CWA hall) and collected the mail. Yay! A parcel from my in-laws (a ballet-based workout DVD - I'm looking forward to checking that out), and a card and cheque from my Oma-in-law. You know, I love modern modes of communication like e-mail and Facebook. But I love getting stuff in the mail! It may be because anything in the mail that isn't a bill is normally fun, or it might go back to childhood and the rarity of getting anything in the mail at all, but whatever it is, I love it!
The Little Big Fella got nervous as soon as he saw the other kids at Music Makers. But we went in and again I got to sit on the floor with his heavy butt on my lap. Seriously, he's getting really heavy and my ankle bones were being squished on the wooden floor!!!
He was all shy and only kind of participating until about half way through when he said he wanted to go. You bet I rolled my eyes! I told him the class wasn't finished and we couldn't go until it was done and he cracked the sads and went and sat on the chair on the side. Sigh. I tried to talk him in to joining everyone again but it wasn't going to happen. I didn't think it was ultimately a good idea to "make" him so I let him be and about 5 minutes later he was ready to re-join the class. And he really joined in this time. He danced and played and talked in the microphone. The silly thing is that I think he loves it, but his shyness beats him to start with. But he's always been shy in new places and with new people so we'll just give him time to settle in and see what happens.
Last time we did the shopping I'd promised the Little Big Fella that we could go to the new park he'd spotted across the road from the supermarket. He reminded me after Music Makers, and because we didn't have a schedule to keep I agreed we could go. Unfortunately, the swing seats were too hot - black rubber in the direct sunlight is a good recipe for burned bum! So we wandered around but he'd lost a little enthusiasm.
My sister and nephews happened to call just then so we all had a chat until my nephews started losing the plot and needed to go to bed for a nap.
Next was some shopping then home again, home again, jiggety jig!
On the way home my Nanna called so we had a little chat to her too.
When we got home the Big Fella had obviously spent a fair portion of the morning cleaning up. The kitchen was clean and lots of things had been put away. And there on the coffee table was a beautifully wrapped present! Wrapped in paper that the Little Big Fella had painted a few weeks ago! And a card with some lovely things written in it by the Big Fella, and he'd helped the Little Big Fella write in it too! If we did brownie points in our house, the Big Fella would have had a basket full for that! Instead he had to put up with hugs and kisses and thank yous and some pretty impressive gratitude :-)
He then suggested that we contact everyone and invite them to the local pub for a drink or two in the late afternoon, his shout. So the texts and Facebook message went out and just before 4 we headed off. (Oh! In the meantime we'd also made some pepperoni! More on that in a future post.)
We'd intended to be at the pub for about an hour or so. But, see, when people are around and everyone is having a good time it's no fun to quit! So we stayed... and stayed... and stayed... and had dinner :-D I had a great time talking to some of the girls that I've met here, even talking about some non-mum topics! The Big Fella had a great time talking to some of the guys that were around the place, including the new bar manager and the kitchen staff. And the Little Big Fella had fun playing really nicely (mostly) with his friends, and talking to the poor man playing the pokies who got to explain that toys don't come out of those machines before we pulled him away.
Oh! And the Little Big Fella got to have a whole can of Coke for the first time ever! Occasionally he gets the dregs of the can from the Big Fella, but he rarely has soft drink (soda/pop) at all, let alone a whole can of Coke. Thankfully there were other kids there to play with or the afternoon/evening would have taken a completely different turn!
Eventually we left the pub and dropped in on some friends on the way home (the Big Fella had borrowed a mincer for his pepperoni). By this time the Little Big Fella was starting to come down from his Coke high so we headed home pretty quickly.
And since then I've had the chance to talk to my youngest sister and my parents on the phone too. I miss my family, but talking to them on the phone is so much better than nothing! (I'm getting all teary!)
So my day, which yesterday looked like it was going to be the same as any other day (or worse) turned out to be lots of fun, with lots of little surprises, and I felt special and like my being in the world is worth all the pain my mum went through. And I guess that's the point of a birthday for me as an adult. It's not about presents, or even a party like it was as a kid. It's about contact with people who think you're special and take the time to let you know, in both big and small ways. And if you get to spend time with those people, that's even better!!!
In typical melancholy style, I looked around and saw the dishes all over the kitchen, thought of the washing that needed doing and the toddler who would need my attention and thought, "what's so good about having a birthday as an adult anyway?"
I knew what my present was and, despite requesting it, doubted that it would be wrapped or that there would be a card (oh ye of little faith).
I knew there would be no cake unless I made it (although, I'd rather some fruit and yoghurt anyway).
And I knew that the main responsibility of caring for our son would be mine.
What's the point? What is it that makes a birthday different to any other day of the year, now that I'm an adult and a mum?
And with that depressing thought I went to sleep.
I woke early this morning (early equals before 7 these days, which is awesome compared to the 4:30/5am starts I was getting at the start of the year!), crept into the kitchen and made some breakfast (ignoring the dishes that were still all over the place) and crept back to the office to catch up on some blog reading and such.
I got a whole hour to myself!
For those of you that didn't catch that (or the fact that it's a big deal) I'll repeat it. I got a whole hour to myself!!!
The Little Big Fella didn't wake up until just before 8! I got a whole hour to read and type and do whatever without interruption!!! Amazing! And just what the doctor ordered.
When the Little Big Fella did wake up, he didn't get up straight away, but put his DVD player on and watched a little bit of Tigger and Pooh so I got myself ready and went downstairs for a workout. Although I had a couple of interruptions, I got my workout done (and worked hard I have to say) then came up to find the Big Fella awake and asking for a coffee.
I looked at the time and realised we were going to be late for Music Makers. I mentioned this a couple of weeks ago - it's a class for pre-school kids and they're learning various musical terms, using various instruments and a microphone, and doing some basic dance/coordination moves. Yesterday I'd asked the Little Big Fella if he wanted to go to playgroup or Music Makers and he emphatically chose Music Makers so that's where we went today.
On our way out of town (Music Makers is in the town 15 minutes away) we stopped at the "post office" (the CWA hall) and collected the mail. Yay! A parcel from my in-laws (a ballet-based workout DVD - I'm looking forward to checking that out), and a card and cheque from my Oma-in-law. You know, I love modern modes of communication like e-mail and Facebook. But I love getting stuff in the mail! It may be because anything in the mail that isn't a bill is normally fun, or it might go back to childhood and the rarity of getting anything in the mail at all, but whatever it is, I love it!
The Little Big Fella got nervous as soon as he saw the other kids at Music Makers. But we went in and again I got to sit on the floor with his heavy butt on my lap. Seriously, he's getting really heavy and my ankle bones were being squished on the wooden floor!!!
He was all shy and only kind of participating until about half way through when he said he wanted to go. You bet I rolled my eyes! I told him the class wasn't finished and we couldn't go until it was done and he cracked the sads and went and sat on the chair on the side. Sigh. I tried to talk him in to joining everyone again but it wasn't going to happen. I didn't think it was ultimately a good idea to "make" him so I let him be and about 5 minutes later he was ready to re-join the class. And he really joined in this time. He danced and played and talked in the microphone. The silly thing is that I think he loves it, but his shyness beats him to start with. But he's always been shy in new places and with new people so we'll just give him time to settle in and see what happens.
Last time we did the shopping I'd promised the Little Big Fella that we could go to the new park he'd spotted across the road from the supermarket. He reminded me after Music Makers, and because we didn't have a schedule to keep I agreed we could go. Unfortunately, the swing seats were too hot - black rubber in the direct sunlight is a good recipe for burned bum! So we wandered around but he'd lost a little enthusiasm.
My sister and nephews happened to call just then so we all had a chat until my nephews started losing the plot and needed to go to bed for a nap.
Next was some shopping then home again, home again, jiggety jig!
On the way home my Nanna called so we had a little chat to her too.
When we got home the Big Fella had obviously spent a fair portion of the morning cleaning up. The kitchen was clean and lots of things had been put away. And there on the coffee table was a beautifully wrapped present! Wrapped in paper that the Little Big Fella had painted a few weeks ago! And a card with some lovely things written in it by the Big Fella, and he'd helped the Little Big Fella write in it too! If we did brownie points in our house, the Big Fella would have had a basket full for that! Instead he had to put up with hugs and kisses and thank yous and some pretty impressive gratitude :-)
He then suggested that we contact everyone and invite them to the local pub for a drink or two in the late afternoon, his shout. So the texts and Facebook message went out and just before 4 we headed off. (Oh! In the meantime we'd also made some pepperoni! More on that in a future post.)
We'd intended to be at the pub for about an hour or so. But, see, when people are around and everyone is having a good time it's no fun to quit! So we stayed... and stayed... and stayed... and had dinner :-D I had a great time talking to some of the girls that I've met here, even talking about some non-mum topics! The Big Fella had a great time talking to some of the guys that were around the place, including the new bar manager and the kitchen staff. And the Little Big Fella had fun playing really nicely (mostly) with his friends, and talking to the poor man playing the pokies who got to explain that toys don't come out of those machines before we pulled him away.
Oh! And the Little Big Fella got to have a whole can of Coke for the first time ever! Occasionally he gets the dregs of the can from the Big Fella, but he rarely has soft drink (soda/pop) at all, let alone a whole can of Coke. Thankfully there were other kids there to play with or the afternoon/evening would have taken a completely different turn!
Eventually we left the pub and dropped in on some friends on the way home (the Big Fella had borrowed a mincer for his pepperoni). By this time the Little Big Fella was starting to come down from his Coke high so we headed home pretty quickly.
And since then I've had the chance to talk to my youngest sister and my parents on the phone too. I miss my family, but talking to them on the phone is so much better than nothing! (I'm getting all teary!)
So my day, which yesterday looked like it was going to be the same as any other day (or worse) turned out to be lots of fun, with lots of little surprises, and I felt special and like my being in the world is worth all the pain my mum went through. And I guess that's the point of a birthday for me as an adult. It's not about presents, or even a party like it was as a kid. It's about contact with people who think you're special and take the time to let you know, in both big and small ways. And if you get to spend time with those people, that's even better!!!
Saturday, 30 June 2012
InstaGarden
I have to start this by braggin' on the Big Fella a little. He was up all day yesterday turning over the soon-to-be front garden soil, smoothing out the driveway and planting grass seed, and doing all kinds of physically exhausting things. We then visited some friends briefly and came home to a phone call requesting he go to work... in 1 and a half hours!
So he worked overnight then finished our little project this morning, after taking the Little Big Fella up the road for breakfast and letting me have a sleep-in. He has worked his butt off these few days (the day before he cleaned out and rearranged the back shed and under the house)! Ain't no way you could call this man lazy!!!
So! What has our little project been I hear you ask (although I'm pretty sure most of you have actually guessed and just want me to shut up and show you the pictures)? Remember what the front of our place looked like when we first moved in? Here's a reminder:
See those stones (under the weeds) in the middle of the driveway? Well, we took the weeds out then the Little Big Fella decided that it would be fun to run all over them... every day and spread them all over the place. This became annoying... very quickly!
So we had no gardens and we had those very annoying conifers on each side.
As well as the Great Pandanas Saga along the back fence, we also started building a little garden using some rocks we found up the road.
We re-shaped the garden edge after that photo and sprayed the grass with Round-Up (doesn't that just make us sound like farmers or something???).
So yesterday, as I mentioned before, the Big Fella turned over the dead grass. We'd already removed the stones from the driveway and turned it over but the Big Fella smoothed it all out again (seeing that the puppies had been digging in it) and sowed some grass seeds. We're hoping if we keep it fairly wet the puppies won't be interested in digging there for now.
And yesterday afternoon (and again this morning actually) we visited some friends, who are kind of the local unofficial nursery, and gathered some plants. Over night (with an awful lot of effort from the Big Fella) we have an InstaGarden!!! Check it out!
Now don't go thinking that's all!!! We've been working hard on that back garden so we had to put something in there!!! :-)
So there you go! We grew a garden overnight... kind of. One of the puppies has already dug up a bromeliad and had a good chew of it so we'll see how well everything survives puppies and transplanting. Either way, it's nice to not have a bare, ugly yard now, and space to grow more food :-D
So he worked overnight then finished our little project this morning, after taking the Little Big Fella up the road for breakfast and letting me have a sleep-in. He has worked his butt off these few days (the day before he cleaned out and rearranged the back shed and under the house)! Ain't no way you could call this man lazy!!!
So! What has our little project been I hear you ask (although I'm pretty sure most of you have actually guessed and just want me to shut up and show you the pictures)? Remember what the front of our place looked like when we first moved in? Here's a reminder:
See those stones (under the weeds) in the middle of the driveway? Well, we took the weeds out then the Little Big Fella decided that it would be fun to run all over them... every day and spread them all over the place. This became annoying... very quickly!
So we had no gardens and we had those very annoying conifers on each side.
As well as the Great Pandanas Saga along the back fence, we also started building a little garden using some rocks we found up the road.
We re-shaped the garden edge after that photo and sprayed the grass with Round-Up (doesn't that just make us sound like farmers or something???).
So yesterday, as I mentioned before, the Big Fella turned over the dead grass. We'd already removed the stones from the driveway and turned it over but the Big Fella smoothed it all out again (seeing that the puppies had been digging in it) and sowed some grass seeds. We're hoping if we keep it fairly wet the puppies won't be interested in digging there for now.
And yesterday afternoon (and again this morning actually) we visited some friends, who are kind of the local unofficial nursery, and gathered some plants. Over night (with an awful lot of effort from the Big Fella) we have an InstaGarden!!! Check it out!
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| For those who are interested, on the left is a nighttime jasmine, then a flowering ginger, a foxtail palm and another flowering ginger. |
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| And here they are from the other side of the fence :-) |
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| Here's the garden on the other side of the front yard |
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| And from inside the fence. Some of these will grow quite tall, some will become bushes and some will stay short, so it should be a nice, balanced garden in the end. |
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| A closer look at the plants |
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| And in the middle of that garden bed |
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| And the other end |
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| Here's my amazing (exhausted) hubby, and my cutie son with Choccie (the female pup) |
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| These are our banana palms (yay!) |
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| In the back corner is some bracken fern (I think) that we haven't decided what to do with so it's just been potted. And in the pot 3rd from the front is an avocado tree! We don't know where we'll put that either so it's "maturing" while we work it out :-) The other pots are herbs and the plant in the foreground is a Basil, which has started going to seed. |
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| The two trees are paw paw (papaya) and the pots all have herbs. |
Thursday, 24 May 2012
I'm losing it!
A couple of days ago my hubby told me I was losing weight.
I didn't believe him but said thanks anyway.
Later I looked in the mirror (did I mention I can actually see myself in our bathroom mirrors???) and wondered if he was right.
Yesterday I finally bought the batteries for our scales and today I finally put them in and weighed myself (shoes, jeans, belt, phone and all) and discovered that yes! I have lost weight! Probably about 3 kilos since I last weighed myself about 6 weeks ago!
Over the 6 months that we lived apart my eating habits got worse and worse. And I got "too busy" to exercise. And in that last month where I was cleaning like a madwoman and didn't see the Big Fella at all, I got rather lonely and hit the ice-cream, biscuits and lollies pretty hard.
Turns out that unlike when I first got married and started living with the Big Fella, living with him again is good for my waistline :-D
I didn't believe him but said thanks anyway.
Later I looked in the mirror (did I mention I can actually see myself in our bathroom mirrors???) and wondered if he was right.
Yesterday I finally bought the batteries for our scales and today I finally put them in and weighed myself (shoes, jeans, belt, phone and all) and discovered that yes! I have lost weight! Probably about 3 kilos since I last weighed myself about 6 weeks ago!
Over the 6 months that we lived apart my eating habits got worse and worse. And I got "too busy" to exercise. And in that last month where I was cleaning like a madwoman and didn't see the Big Fella at all, I got rather lonely and hit the ice-cream, biscuits and lollies pretty hard.
Turns out that unlike when I first got married and started living with the Big Fella, living with him again is good for my waistline :-D
Saturday, 12 May 2012
My 100th post, dedicated to my Mum
Wow! I'm up to my hundredth post already! Who'd have thought I'd keep going this long and that people would still find it at least slightly interesting!
Now, what could I say that would be worthy of this milestone?
I think, especially with tomorrow being Mother's Day, I'm really don't have any other choice but to dedicate this post to my Mum.
I'm the oldest of four children and Mum stayed home with us until my brother, the youngest, started school. Times were often tough and Mum somehow made the budget stretch to keep us all fed, clothed and entertained.
I think Mum sometimes feels like she didn't do the best job (I wonder if that's just howmost all Mums feel, at least sometimes) but I know that my sisters, brother and I know she's awesome! I mean, how many people do you know that could successfully keep 4 kids in line, not only with strong discipline but also plenty of love?
Although I know she was strict, that's not what I remember. I remember the fun dinners with a colour theme, dressing up, baking slices, learning the 1-2-1 formula for a basic white sauce, tramping around in the bush and lighting a campfire, her incredible wisdom and the best hugs in the world!
Mum is creative in a million ways!
Now, what could I say that would be worthy of this milestone?
I think, especially with tomorrow being Mother's Day, I'm really don't have any other choice but to dedicate this post to my Mum.
I'm the oldest of four children and Mum stayed home with us until my brother, the youngest, started school. Times were often tough and Mum somehow made the budget stretch to keep us all fed, clothed and entertained.
I think Mum sometimes feels like she didn't do the best job (I wonder if that's just how
Although I know she was strict, that's not what I remember. I remember the fun dinners with a colour theme, dressing up, baking slices, learning the 1-2-1 formula for a basic white sauce, tramping around in the bush and lighting a campfire, her incredible wisdom and the best hugs in the world!
Mum is creative in a million ways!
- She has some great crafty skills and style.
- I don't think I've ever read or heard of a thrifty skill or idea that I haven't seen her employ.
- She can make a meal stretch from feeding 6 people to feeding 20 with barely any notice!
- She can make a meal when there's nothing in the cupboard!
- She can turn a boring wet day into an awesome adventure.
- She can make the Women's Weekly birthday cake book cake of your choice and it will look awesome :-)
I got to work at the same place with my Mum for several years and the thing I noticed, the thing that stood out about her compared to everyone else there, was that the Mum I grew up with, who made me feel safe, comfortable and at home, was the person others got to meet. Mum has a wonderful sense of hospitality and an amazing ability to put people at ease. Whenever we had new staff she'd just take them under her wing and make them feel comfortable and relaxed and welcome. She'd help them settle in. And it wasn't her defined role that made this happen, it was her personality and unique skills.
My husband jokes that when I'm in a bad mood I need to speak to or visit my Mum. When we lived in the same town he'd bundle me into the car and we'd drop round for a visit. He says that she somehow makes me happier in a way that he doesn't know how to.
I remember as I was growing up, so many times wondering how my Mum got to be so wise. She always knew the right thing to say (even on the odd occasion when I didn't want to hear it). She was my comfort, a source of challenge, my most trusted adviser and confidant.
Since having the Little Big Fella I have appreciated even more how unique and wonderful my Mum is. The hours of care, the constant encouragement, the wisdom, the stamina and the love my Mum has shown to me and my siblings blows me away.
Mum, I love you! If you couldn't tell, I think you're awesome! I miss you and I always love talking to you. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day and that the others still in Victoria do their best to spoil you like you deserve (I know they will). Big cyber hugs and kisses (and a tissue coz you probably need one too). I love you Mum.
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