Isn't it romantic?

Every now and then I randomly tell my husband that I love him.

I pretty much always say it whenever one of us leaves the house, or when we're on the phone, but I like to throw in a random one every now and then so that he knows it's not just something I say as a habit, but that I truly do love him.

Tonight I told the Big Fella I love him, and he replied that he loves me too, and I said, "I know".  He then asked me how I know, to which I replied that everything he does says it.

But it got me thinking.

The Big Fella isn't traditionally romantic.  I don't get flowers or jewellery or serenades or whatever the romantic movies suggest are required very often.

But when I think about the idea of romance, I could quite confidently describe it as doing/giving/saying something for/to the person you love because you know they'll appreciate it.

For example, as a new couple, when the Big Fella bought me diamond earings I was ecstatic because, well, obviously they're diamonds!  But also because it was a confirmation of the status of our relationship.

As we come up to our 15th wedding anniversary, if he were to give me diamonds I'd be happy.  But I might think that the money could better be used for us as a family.

Telling me to use our frequent flyer points to visit my family next month, however, was a gift that is well and truly appreciated and given out of a depth of caring and understanding.

Isn't that romantic?

When he cooks a beautiful meal, and adjusts it so that our son will eat it without complaint (by removing chilli from the recipe, for example), he's not only super awesome for cooking for us, but giving the gift of a peaceful time with my Fellas.

Isn't that romantic?

When I come home from work and the dishes are not only washed, but dried and put away, the "stuff" that was all over the house in the morning has found its way home, the benches and table are wiped down, and there's a cup of tea in the making, the Big Fella is telling me that he knows I work hard, too, and coming home to a clean house removes a whole layer of stress from me (by the way, that one works the other way for him, too!).

Isn't that romantic?

A tender kiss for no reason.
A look of love and understanding.
A hug that lasts longer than a few seconds.

Isn't that romantic, too?

My parents have been married for almost forty years.  They still show affection for one another often (I was SO embarrassed as a teenager, but secretly glad, too).  And I'm so grateful to them for the example they gave, and the wisdom they shared in expanding the living definition of romance.

We miss out on so much if we only see romance as the Hollywood chocolate box, flowers and trinkets!  We don't get to see how a relationship can develop over time to become a deep, trusting friendship that may not always look romantic, and may even appear kind of boring from the outside, but grows in value as the years roll on and the couple continually strive to support and appreciate one another.

Marriage is work!  Sometimes it's really hard work!  Living with another person will always be hard sometimes!

But as we push through those times and allow the pressures of life to push us together, and as we re-define love and romance as our relationships mature and grow, what a gift!!!  Not only to us, but to those who observe our relationships and get to see that love is more than just a cliche or a fleeting feeling.

So, my darling husband!  How do I know you love me?  Because your thoughts, words, and actions are considerate and caring.

You do things for me because you know I'll appreciate them, even when you don't always feel like it.

And I know you love me because you tell me, too.  Not only in that perfect three-letter sentence, but in compliments and observations.

You treat me like an equal human being, without playing manipulative games.

And you laugh with me about things that wouldn't be remotely funny to other people, but because they're funny to us they strengthen our bond (dropped pie).

Isn't that romantic?